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Old 07.07.2009, 03:25 AM   #17679
sarramkrop
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atsonicpark
Sorry, I think it was page 902. It doesn't really answer your question, though.

Let me put it like this: I have nothing to live for, as of right this second. I have been laying in my bed, not moving.. just thinking.. can't sleep... I ate my first meal in 8 days today. No lie. I haven't drank anything today though, so ... hmm. It's not an attention-grab. It's just a great depression. My girlfriend of 6 years is probably leaving me, to move away, whatever... and I can't go because she wants to be independant and find out things for herself and all that stuff... you know... but yeah, that's bad enough, but couple in some more personal issues regarding death in the family and sickness. I've been calling in to work... well, I went to work but was sent home for puking (I puked up milk, if you were wondering).. I'm thinking of quitting that place... I have $17,000 in the bank and am not happy in the least. I'm thinking of giving most of my money away, to people who need it... Or just moving to some shithole apartment and not working on anything except making depressing movies and music. Either way, I have no plans to leave my house or really do anything, actively, for a while... if certain things go down that are maybe going to go down. I'm being vague, but I feel odd writing this on such a public forum. I just feel, at this very moment, that I have absolutely nothing to be happy about, nothing to look forward to, and yeah. No one and nothing is going to change how I feel. I'll just have to get over it myself. My mom gave me some of her antidepressants and so today is the first day I haven't cried my eyes out because, even though they make me feel like shit, they somehow fuck with my tear ducts and make it impossible to cry.

Did you think of doing some travelling yourself? Seeing new places and meeting new people might help. I dunno.
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