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Originally Posted by swa(y)
i fantasize about having one from time to time...i just, i dont know...i guess the idea scares me to. ill always always always be able to take care of myself no matter what. the idea of giving up on myself (which i know id do) for the sake of take care of a baby swa(y) scares me.
my dad was a complete failure as a dad. surely i wouldnt fall in his footsteps but...i dont know, the thought of someone hating me as much as i hate him scares the shit out of me.
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A very fair and honest answer. Breaking the cycle is part of the immense pleasure though. My dad is not a complete asshole, but he is a rather incomplete asshole a lot of the time. And when I was little he really wasn't great. I try to do everything I know he didn't do, but then I hardly have to try. My son makes it a joy to do. I did get off really easy on that front though. And I hope and pray our impending divorce doesn't fuck things up for him too bad (unfortunately it would just fuck things up more to put it off until he's older).