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I didn't say I wanted a perferct girl. The girl described above could be the biggest slob in the world, an overspender, and wouldn't know how to cook.
By american buddhist I mean people who don't know what religion they are that just go, well buddhism looks easy, I'll do that! I've got nothing against Buddhism, and I have a lot respect for Buddhist monks.
Anyways, I don't believe in smoking, drugs, medication for non physical ailments, athiesm, or heavily supporting political parties. I don't know, but you don't want something in a relationship that will cause constant clashing, because it won't last for long. I'm a low key person and I have enough conflict in my life. I don't think a girlfriend would stand me for too long if I told her to quit smoking, doing drugs, and taking antideppresants everyday, and I don't think I could stand a girl too long that hates my religion and supports political machines.
On the other hand I wouldn't last long with a zealot. Everytime I listen to music I would get a "what did he just say?" She'd probably throw out all of my classical mythology books because they have lewd paintings in them. Then she would probably call me a pervert and break up with me the first time I tried to watch Eraserhead with her, then call me an asshole for voting for Kerry last election. I would agree with her and say that I shouldn't of voted at all, because all the candidates are scumbags. Then she would call me unamerican. She'd probably also try to get me recognized as a child molester for owning the movie Me and You and Everyone We Know. To sum it up, this girl would think I was going to hell for things that are not even biblically wrong.
She, thats my problem, there is too much black and white with a lot of people, and I'm gray. I'm part of the gray minority.
Although, I have a slightly bigger problem with women. It is that I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years. I think it is because girls can't tell when I'm flirting with them and they can't tell when I'm flirting back. Plus I don't take initiative. There was one girl that I liked who lived in an apartment a few blocks down from where we were talking, and she said she was going to go walk home and she was joking about getting mugged and having her laptop stolen. So I offered to walk her home. She said it was OK and it would be fine. I should have insisted.
See, I am decent at hanging out with a girl, but I am really bad at follow ups, in that I don't attempt them. I rely far too much on spontaneity (sp?) and never plan anything, I just hang out with whoever is free. Sometimes there is no follow up, but just seeing eachother in public and saying hi. Which is pretty bad. I also always backed off completely whenever a girl would say she had a boyfriend back home, which I have recently found out doesn't mean anything.
When I hang out with a group of girls, half the time, the one that seems to be focusing on me is the one I am not interested in, and I feel a much stronger connection with another girl. This happened to me my first year of college, and then we occasionally bumped into eachother and she would complement my hair (it is my personality in that case to say, that is just how it came out after showering or after getting up). It wasn't until the last few days of school that I had worked up almost enough courage to ask her out, so it was worthless.
It doesn't really matter though, I'm not depressed because of it. I just think about it this way, I don't have to spend 1/2 hour on the phone everyday and spend so much time with someone that I stop hanging out with my friends. At the current point in time, I am taking a year off and I am inbetween colleges and I don't have a car, so I'm not really enabled to have a girlfriend right now.
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