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The lurkers are the people who supposedly have zero posts. They are here to watch us and talk about us. They have their own secret part of the forum where they post continuously, analysing each of us in the minutest detail. They constantly take copious quantities of special drugs to keep them awake; some of them haven't slept since the new forum started. The purpose is some kind of secret research funded by the Illuminati. The Illuminati are very interested in Sonic Youth fans, very interested indeed. This is because the leader of the Illuminati, A certain Mr Weishaupt, is a serious Phil Collins fan and he can't understand how anyone can like Sonic Youth's music. He wants to know why we like it, how it could possibly appeal to us, what we get from listening to it.
He's scared we know something he doesn't.
Go to the main forum page and scroll down. There's a big blue space at the bottom, isn't there? That's where the secret forum is.
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