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Originally Posted by Timothy Alacrity Westwood-Thrumpington
Dear Pookie,
What's up with Morrisons' own-brand toothpaste huh? I mean, seriously - what the fuck is up with it?
Yours,
Timothy Alacrity Westwood-Thrumpington.
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I woke up one Sunday morning and realised that I was in bed alone. This was unusual because my then girlfriend never woke up before 10 on a Sunday morning. I always woke first and went to buy the paper and some bacon to make a bacon sandwich (extra crispy for her).
I shot out of bed, went downstairs, looked in the garden. She definitely wasn't anywhere in the house. She didn't have a mobile phone so I couldn't call her. I just had to wait.
After about an hour of waiting and worrying she returned home. I told her how worried I'd been because she never gets up before me and I'd woken up and she wasn't there. She said she was very sorry but had woken earlier than normal and had fancied a walk and while she was out she had passed a cafe and decided to go in and have some breakfast.
I decided on reflection that although this incident was outside of her normal routine it was not an indication of a change in character ultimately resulting in us growing so far apart we found living together no longer bearable. We haven't used Morrison's toothpaste since.