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I've got the love bug. I've never been in love before but I'm not sure if I am now or just really like this girl and like the idea of being in love. Im dead strapped for cash. My band is going great but I hate about everything else thats goin on. I've had 2 3somes with two girls and it's whatever. I want to succeed in music and want to be a rockstar but at the same time fucking hate the idea of a rockstar and hate it as much as I love it. But I dont want to do anything else. Also I've got the perfect relationship, shes not needy and is bi and is smart and wise as hell, but Im the one starting to get needy and miss her and want to talk to her all the time. I've never been like this before and I hate it, I hate learning something new about myself. I think I have a split personality, but sometimes I feel like a heartless bastard, and then the rest of the time I feel like a whiny, needy, pussy child. wtf? I need a job, maybe just gotta find something to do with my time besides music. Im also quitting cigs and trying to live healtheir cuz i've been sick for about 2 1/2 weeks...open relationships are a mindfuck!
I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.
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