[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

SonicGail, I' speaking more in generalities then your specific situation, you stuck it out for almost 2 decades, that is damn sight more than most folks. However, ontologically, it was still in part selfish for you to back out. In theory, you could have still gotten clean on your own, and then worked on that aspect of your marriage. I applaud your courage to move on, and I sincerely pray it for the best for you, but marriage is something different. So many people walk away from their marriages because they aren't "perfect" but what marriage ever was?? In your instance, this seems for the best, but lets not pretend it won't have negative consequences, because inevitably it will. They are unavoidable in divorce...