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Old 04.22.2009, 01:06 AM   #11
static-harmony
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: outside L.A
Posts: 5,172
static-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's assesstatic-harmony kicks all y'all's asses
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kloriel
who the fuck makes a thread like this. what the fuck


A drunk person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by amerikangod
I was going to post this in the 'So I'm about to loose my Sonic Youth live virginity...' thread, but I'd rather not hijack it and this may or may not develop into something worthwhile on its own.

Right now I'm drunk and listening to Acid Mothers Temple very loudly, as one is wont to do ('Atomic Rotary Grinding God/Quicksilver Machine Head,' baby) and this just came to mind.

When I first lost my virginity is kind of hazy... the chick I did it with and I had been fooling around a bit, and had various levels of sexual interaction. There were moments of 'oh hey I just slid my penis into you for a minute and very, very slowlly grinded' and all that jazz, but we're talking about the first time we genuinely GOT IT ON. Like, full-on plowed and there was at least one orgasm involved.

Ok, so the chick had issues with sex. She lost her virginity at 13 and had been with a few dudes before me, all of which apparently just 'used' her for sex. She was very unhappy with this, and only desired sex within a loving relationship. We had that, but she was still very wary.

In any case, it was my first time truly having sex. I got pretty excited by it, and I didn't know how to make it last just yet. As such, after about fifteen minutes something happened that made my penis say 'O SHI-' and, beyond the point of return, I reluctantly had an orgasm.

She was very unhappy with this, as I had an orgasm before her, and I guess it called up all of these memories and feelings of her being used for sex. She just turns her back to me and starts bawling. Now I'm laying there, feeling terrible. I try to hold her but she pulls away and starts crying harder. At this point I'm all 'But I really do love you. I didn't mean to cum yet, this is my first time' and I'm teary-eyed too. I've got tears welling up and I'm laying there naked, my now-flaccid penis still wrapped in the splooge-filled condom. I think this went on for like half an hour, and ended in us both just laying there in silence.

FUCKING SUCKED.

Sex has improved vastly over the many years since.
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