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Bob the Retard:
Not something I named him, just one that stuck I guess. 60-something-year-old mentally handicapped, though not seriously, who got fired from Burger King for being too fascinated with the small children of customers. Now he goes bowling often, with the bumpers up of course, and attends church frequently. When it rains or snows, he asks either police officers or familiar looking people (he says knows faces, not names) for rides to wherever he lives, I don't know where. When he comes into the coffee shop where I work and I ask how he is today, he says he doesn't know but it's all my fault. He's a member of the Knight's of Columbus as well.
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