abandoned or perhaps RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY from!
use l-tyrosine already. plus magnesium and all the vitamins.
talking about better people is like taunting me with things i cant have. all these hopes and plans are fine if you have the slightest bit of security, but i dont.
i cant stand this all being directed back at my self, it needs to be directed out at the assholes profiteering from it who eventually need to be destroyed.
a cig diary thing - maybe. i can write how i feel or whatever, but my highly inaccurate introspective ideas are generated by a brain which i dont have access to. i cant see whats going on in there. we're not post human enough yet to reflect on our input and output like a computer can.
when the cig sickness randomly strikes me, which it does at some point everytime i quit, it is HELL. absolute fucking hell. i mentioned before what its like.
all i can do is try and cut down and meet targets to reduce it. if i fail i fail. there are better things to think about than a prison diary of the ways people are profiting off my addiction/eventual or perhaps already occuring slow descent into terminal illness.
or maybe you're right. i'll think about it
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