Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
ive done it before, many times.
eventually something happens to me - sometimes it happens after a few days, sometimes after a few months. i basically break down into total depression and get really really really fucked up mentally. something happens to my brain. its just not something that i can get through without smoking. like i feel close to a total psychotic breakdown.
when i had quit for 9 months and this happened and i first had a smoke i literally felt a wave go through my body and my fucking POSTURE completely changed. there is some serious fucked up shit in my system
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yeah the body doesn't detox right away from heavy smoking. i just mentioned before that it took me 8 months to rid of a minor cough-- and i wasn't even a heavy smoker.
now, re: the changes. i'm not saying that you're a schizophrenic, but schizophrenics self-medicate with cigarettes. i'm saying this as an analogy-- not to diagnose you.
this is why i suggested observing the payoff of your smoking habit. maybe you do have something for which you're unconsciously self-medicating. this is why wellbutrin (a dopaminergic) is used to help smokers quit-- it's a replacement for at least one of the functions of tobacco (not all).
i naturally have adhd and a tendency towards depression. it's genetic, i can observe it in some of my relatives. lots of heavy smokers on my mom's side--- as well as adhd. i used to do the same but i didn't know i had adhd-- now we know. but in order to quit smoking i have to self-medicate in non-toxic/less toxic ways, or hack/manage my condition, in order to function better.
this of course sounds very fucking complicated but whoever said life is supposed to be easy was fucking lying.