[!@#$%!]

her

ok, it's kinda easy actually

you are you, your "ego". what you think you are

the city is also you, but *everything* you are. "i contain multitudes" iike walt whitman. in jungian parlance, the unconscious.

and guess what surprise, teenager. there is a new part of the city that's being built. no shit! you're growing up.

so i don't know where this bus is going, and maybe you don't either, but dream logic has to assume: from the old city to the new part.

and so here comes the bus which has-- guess what?-- a bunch of people, your age, also going to the same place.

now please understand these people are not "those people" really. they are parts of you. also moving, from childhood into new jack city.

also, remember, teenage grownup is all about developing personal autonomy and the social. so it's only logical (dream logic) that you'll be with "friends" your age. ¿sí?

so there you go, on the bus, and they're all smoking. you already identified here growing up with smoking, yes? we all told you "just say no" but fact is, marketers have always sold smoking as "the grownup thing to do"/

but let's not obsess with smokes.

basically you see embarking on this journey as getting soiled/contaminated in some way. and true enough, growing up is a filthy business haa haaa haaa.

so your pals are smoking, feeling grownup. but you don't want that! you wanna stay pure. or puer. or puella.

so, no matter how much you try to avoid growing up, you still get touched by the pollution, yes? but oh surprise, it doesn't really burn-burn, it just feels warm. it wasn't as horrible as you were thinking.

but instead of saying "ok, this wasn't so terrible" you decide to protest! which is to say: i do not want to go to new jack city! (it's a 90s movie title, word play on my part.)

and what happens when we don't wanna grow up?

we end up at our parents house. ooops! where it's safe. back to the womb.

but guess what? surprise! all those people show up with you. you can run, but you can't hide. the tide is rising from within. this is not something that your ego can choose.

you have to make friends, move out of the parents house psychologically, and build the new part of the city. yes?

except, maybe find a different grownup thing to do than smoking haa ha haaaaa. i say this from the awake logical part of it outside the dream. but yeah, growing up is a bit of pollution from the purity of childhood.

making money for example. filthy lucre. and mmmm, feels warm to have those $122 in your hand, doesn't it? it doesn't burn lol