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!@#$%! · 06.24.2019, 04:23 PM

ive got a bit of adhd which always made me either bore very easy with shit that didn’t interest me or go very deeply into shit that interests me. that runs on my mom’s side and several of us have it.

from age 3 till grad school i was an addictive reader then grad school made reading annoying, hahaha. so i got heavy into film in gradschool.

i also get easily bored with people. i don’t know if it’s an autism related thing, but i’m much more interested in ideas than in gossip or “people-noise.” i can read facial expressions well, so im not impaired in that sense, but rather i often don’t know what to do with that social-cue information, which tends to be rather overwhelming. i’m a nerd i guess.

i’m not shy (took a lot to overcome that), but i’m introverted, which means after a party i need a long break to rest from all that information. gimme a puzzle to crack or something to analyze, without interruptions. ah, pleasure!

i also am usually not interested in the same things as the general populace so it’s hard for me to have small talk with strangers but i’ve learned to cope by asking questions. sometimes you find an interesting story that way.

most people in my family are “normal” people, with ordinary middle class professions, but there are a few eccentrics on my dad’s side. so i think mine is genetic. my brother who grew up the exact same way i did is like, supernormal.

this being “different” can often be a cause for depression because of the social pressure to conform. for me it no longer is a problem because i had therapy for many years. therapy is the best thing. it’s like religion but not stupid. hahahaha. my therapy was a years-long argument. maybe i should have been born a jew (could have happened actually) but i was born into a catholic family instead. un coup de dés jamais n’abolira le hasard.

anyway, therapy taught me to accept myself and it’s been a lot of fun since. because before i was a bit at war with the conformatrons. now i just ask them to leave me the fuck alone and that is good for everyone. then i can find people i really relate to, which is nice—nicer than fake friends.

so, the pressure to conform is the real sickness i think. it’s a social disease. it destroys individuals who feel bad because they’re not “normal”. they should enjoy their neural diversity instead, as much as possible, instead of feeling out of step.

this is why recommend that all misfits watch buffy, hahaha. buffy is “the chosen one” (ridiculous name i know), that is her fate from birth, but what does she want? she wants to be normal! haaa haaa haaaa! haaaa haaaa haaa! absurd... she’s internalized social pressure. lol @ teens.

anyway—resist! enjoy! and become what you are!

oh, nietzsche helped too, tons.

okay.

ps- i also get winter depression, but that’s separate, and easily cured by sunlight, vitamin d, and the tropics if possible.

pps- i’ve had some entanglements with borderline women and that didn’t end well ha ha ha—crazymaking. i do remember my bipolar exes fondly though.

06.24.2019, 04:23 PM	#9
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,457	ive got a bit of adhd which always made me either bore very easy with shit that didn’t interest me or go very deeply into shit that interests me. that runs on my mom’s side and several of us have it. from age 3 till grad school i was an addictive reader then grad school made reading annoying, hahaha. so i got heavy into film in gradschool. i also get easily bored with people. i don’t know if it’s an autism related thing, but i’m much more interested in ideas than in gossip or “people-noise.” i can read facial expressions well, so im not impaired in that sense, but rather i often don’t know what to do with that social-cue information, which tends to be rather overwhelming. i’m a nerd i guess. i’m not shy (took a lot to overcome that), but i’m introverted, which means after a party i need a long break to rest from all that information. gimme a puzzle to crack or something to analyze, without interruptions. ah, pleasure! i also am usually not interested in the same things as the general populace so it’s hard for me to have small talk with strangers but i’ve learned to cope by asking questions. sometimes you find an interesting story that way. most people in my family are “normal” people, with ordinary middle class professions, but there are a few eccentrics on my dad’s side. so i think mine is genetic. my brother who grew up the exact same way i did is like, supernormal. this being “different” can often be a cause for depression because of the social pressure to conform. for me it no longer is a problem because i had therapy for many years. therapy is the best thing. it’s like religion but not stupid. hahahaha. my therapy was a years-long argument. maybe i should have been born a jew (could have happened actually) but i was born into a catholic family instead. un coup de dés jamais n’abolira le hasard. anyway, therapy taught me to accept myself and it’s been a lot of fun since. because before i was a bit at war with the conformatrons. now i just ask them to leave me the fuck alone and that is good for everyone. then i can find people i really relate to, which is nice—nicer than fake friends. so, the pressure to conform is the real sickness i think. it’s a social disease. it destroys individuals who feel bad because they’re not “normal”. they should enjoy their neural diversity instead, as much as possible, instead of feeling out of step. this is why recommend that all misfits watch buffy, hahaha. buffy is “the chosen one” (ridiculous name i know), that is her fate from birth, but what does she want? she wants to be normal! haaa haaa haaaa! haaaa haaaa haaa! absurd... she’s internalized social pressure. lol @ teens. anyway—resist! enjoy! and become what you are! oh, nietzsche helped too, tons. okay. ps- i also get winter depression, but that’s separate, and easily cured by sunlight, vitamin d, and the tropics if possible. pps- i’ve had some entanglements with borderline women and that didn’t end well ha ha ha—crazymaking. i do remember my bipolar exes fondly though.
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