Mark Prindle is funny. I often laugh at his reviews, but I don't think he is a very good rock critic. When I disagree with him, he never makes me second-guess my own opinion, and I think that is important. He also doesn't seem to be able to look past surface stylistic features of music. It's shallow, emotivist bleh -- with jokes. Even when I agree with a review, it's usually for completely different reasons from his. For example, I like Yo La Tengo and I love their album
I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One, but look at his review (a perfect rating), he can't get past the different "styles" of the tracks:
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Hoo boy. Okay. How does one succinctly sum up an album where none of the songs sound the least bit alike?
Wait, I've got it!!!!
"Return To Hot Chicken" - Lovely peaceful electric guitar
INSTRUMENTAL INTRO
"Moby Octopad" - Beat-tastic
STEREOLABBY DANCE TRACK built around the bass line from The Velvet Underground's "European Son" (the same bass line that Kevin Rutmanis usurped for The Cows' "A Oven"!)
"Sugarcube" - Wonderful
FUZZY BUBBLEGUM POP
"Damage" - Moody
RELAXING DRONE piece highlighted by a wash of mystical space noise most likely created by Ira tapping his fingers against the back of a guitar neck for the song's entirety
"Deeper Into Movies" - Catchy pop vocal melody buried under incredibly loud chiming distorted guitars (or "
SONIC YOUTH IN 1966")
"Shadows" - Slow Georgia-sung
VU BALLAD with surprisingly clever, counterintuitive chord changes (and trumpet solo!)
"Stockholm Syndrome" - The band's bassist makes his vocal debut with an
FM COUNTRY ROCK song so atrocious that I seriously thought somebody had accidentally mastered an Eagles B-side into the middle of the disc. God, it's SO FUCKING BAD!!! Yet, every time I hear it, I find its unbelievable shittiness ever more appealing. Jesus, did this guy think he was playing in an America reunion or something?!
"Autumn Sweater" - Huge rap drums and an excellent descending
EARLY-PINK-FLOYDY ORGAN HOOK are the centerpiece of this wonderfully cool, artistic single
"Little Honda" - Gigantic distorted guitars and under-excited vocals somehow
work in this
BEACH BOYS COVER
"Green Arrow" - Very quiet and meditative
SLIDE GUITAR DESERT INSTRUMENTAL
"One PM Again" - Generic
ACOUSTIC FOLK STRUMMER and (aside from the so-bad-it's-great "Stockholm Syndrome") the only track that doesn't deserve to be on this magnificent album. Couldn't they have put this piece of crap on
Electr-O-Pura where its lack of quality belongs?
"The Lie And How We Told It" -
MESMERIZING AURAL SUNSHOWER of reverbed guitar notes and beautiful harmony vocals
"Center Of Gravity" -
BRAZILIAN BACHELOR PAD LOUNGE music with the appropriate acoustic guitar rhythm and lots of "Ba-da-ba!" vocals
"Spec Bebop" -
BLISTERING OVERMODULATED CANDY-COLORED ORGAN SOLO EPIC
"We're An American Band" - Loud effect-soaked guitars join light jazzy drums and gorgeously melancholy harmony vocals for a unique experience akin to a
MY BLOODY VALENTINE/THE ASSOCIATION JAM SESSION
"My Little Corner Of The World" - Adorable Georgia-sung uptempo acoustic strummer that sounds like
CHILDREN'S MUSIC or
LESLEY GORE UNPLUGGED or something!
There you go! A pithy, concise statement that boils down the entire
I Can Feel The Heart Beating As One experience into a compact 240+ words. Or hell, a mere 57 words if you just speed-read the bold, capitalized descriptors like I asked you to (in a separate document). Yes, many people can't believe what a skillful wordsmanship captain I am, magically weaving my web of summarizing breviloquence around even the vastest of worldwide topics. But then they see me in action, as now, and they can't help but say things like "Man! Talk about compendiary!" and "Man! Talk about compendious!" But we can't all be like me and that's a skill we all have to learn: the art of brevity, levity and longevity.
No but serious now, this album surpasses all other YLT efforts for one simple reason: BETTER SONGS. Its diversity - though impressive - wouldn't mean diddlychickens without strong, smart melodies to back it up, and for some reason these guys/girl were
ON in this particular year. I mean
COMPLETELY-ass on. Sure, "Stockholm Syndrome" would only be a masterpiece if intended as a joke, and "One PM Again" doesn't have much going for it except its short length, but that still leaves 14 of the catchiest and most original/least derivative compositions of the band's entire career -- all on a single CD. A single CD made of polycarbonate plastic. A single CD made of polycarbonate plastic coated with a thin layer of Super Purity Aluminum and a film of lacquer, in which CD data is stored as a series of tiny indentations encoded in a tightly packed spiral track of pits molded into the top of the polycarbonate layer, which upon contact with the player's laserbeam read-head unleashes a miniature (or "clone") version of all three members of Yo La Tengo, who then sit inside your stereo and play songs for you.
Now that they've finally reached maturity as a band, they've got nowhere to go but up! This is just the beginning of what promises to be the greatest run of artistic successes in rock and roll history!"