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Do you consider yourself a more laid back kind of person or a more uptight kind of person?
This has been bothering me a lot lately, as people have started calling me uptight; I always thought of myself as really laid back.
I guess I considered myself laid back because I'm not afraid of much, don't get angry often, am relatively quiet (unless I've been drinking heavily), and am well-mannered.
But, I can sort of see their points. I'm often horribly passive aggressive and take things people say and do way too personally. I also often get sulky if people change plans I make; I don't like being insulted, compared to, and worry that I'm being talked about behind my back.
As a teacher, my biggest mistakes in the relationships I've had with my students have been because I sometimes get uptight. There have been many times when I interpret student behavior to be disrespectful and respond as a disciplinarian or passive aggressively (if the students try to play on my emotions). This tends to be observed as a "betrayal" because the students that once considered me their "cool teacher" has joined the dark side. It's all horribly frustrating, as it's tough to keep your emotions under wraps when dealing with difficult teenagers.
In relationships with women, I usually am laid back--unless I really like the girl. Then I obsess over every little thing and come off as a wanker. I think this is very typical for most guys. I really really work hard to try to control the way I'm perceived by women in the early stages. Sounds weird, but it's better than some of the goofy mistakes I made when I first started dating.
I want to be more laid back, as I find the people I like best are laid back. I feel like addressing it in my mind has helped, but I wonder if there's anything else I can do to be more cool/stoic/disengaged from my petty emotional responses to nonsense.
Anyone else relate to any of this?
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