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Well Satan, that only depends on how much it means to you.
It's similar to when I used to peruse my old journals. Good god!!!! Identities change, voices change. I find myself envying my old self, my old expressiveness. But its not fair. I'm happy to just find similar patterns. I'm glad I never had a ceremonial burning of my old shit, like I wanted to. Patterns are all I have, now.
Anyways.
Phoenix, that is a puzzle that will drain me til I die, probably. You never have control over what "happens to you" , unless you alter if they happened "to" you or they just happened, and then there is a mix between how you react and how you internalize the circumstances in question.
Through time, I will remember the same things that happened years ago but they change depending on how I think of them.
It's almost like the same events that have happened in my life keep happening in different films, based on how my new 'perspective' views them. Maybe thats why I have such a hard time bonding with other people.
Maybe everything is why I have a hard time bonding with other people. I know they're people. And I'm a people. But fuck people.
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