[Пятхъдесят Шест]

Originally Posted by atari 2600

a brief explanation of penalty calls

offsides - This penalty is called when the ref notices the game is getting too exciting.

Yellow card - A cautionary warning usually issued when the official notices that a player has fallen to the ground; the referee, however, can not be troubled with such trifles as how the player got to the ground, since it is not a matter of any import or consequence.

Red card - When a transgression is committed by an already yellow-carded player, the subsequent red card results in suspension & immediate ejection from the game of a player by a ref who hasn't done much ejaculating lately.

Much rep for that!