I see what youre saying ASP...Sorry, I do not have the same experience as you.
Do you think there is any way that your girlfriend, and past girlfriends, have gotten as much out of the relationship? I mean, even if what you're getting out of it is fucked and doesnt seem right to you (if thats what it is?), are there things that your partners stay for? I seriously doubt that they stay just so that they can be the upper hand, simply as that.
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