[atsonicpark]

Instantly, I went from wanting nothing more than to see police everywhere, to being terrified of them; A taxi pulls up behind the trio of cars. I look at the officer, who is looking at me, turn around, and sprint into the cab. I tell him 'Caltrain, please!', and he starts off. I didn't see what happened to the police cars after that. After a couple blocks, he begins driving very slowly; I asked why, and he said 'I'm waiting for some friends'. 'What friends?!' I said, 'Please, just take me to the caltrain!'. 'I'm waiting for my friends'. After this, 3 people enter the car. Again, 3 prostitutes, 2 of whom appear to be transvestites. The one who sits next to me says 'don't worry, you're safe, calm down, its ok, its ok..'. I was terrified...I opened the back door and ran out and across the street; The taxi just stood there, the driver looking puzzled. I ran across the street, again realizing I am the only white person in view.

A man calls to me 'hey are you ok?'. He is black, wearing a jean jacket and jeans. The clothes are dirty. He looks a bit older than the other people I saw, probably in his 40s. We will call him C. 'Yeah...but I don't know where I am'. 'Where are you trying to get to?'. 'The caltrain'. 'Are you kidding me? You almost got yourself killed...come with me'. I stare deep into his eyes...what are his intentions? Is he genuinely nice, and going to help me get out of this ordeal? Or is he tricking me, trying to lure me deeper into this world so I have no hope of escape? Something convinces me of his trust...a sparkle of honesty in his eye.

He begins questioning me 'how did you end up here' - 'I don't know!'. He is very observant... there is a faint spot of pink on my hand (facing opposite from him): the remnants of the admissions stamp for the party. He sees it and says 'ah, you must have gone out clubbing last night...where are you from anyway?'...'I'm from NYC, this is my second week in San Francisco.' As we walk past the first corner, there is a man on a bicycle. C nods to him, and he nods back. 'Are you kidding me? Your second week and you ended up here? Don't you know this is attended territory?' 'What? What is attended territory?'.

He stops... 'Boy, are you playing me?' 'What, what are you talking about?!?!'. He starts walking again. Several of the people we pass, C exchanges glances and nods with. To two of them, he puts his hand behind his pack to around the other side and gave some kind of hand signal. I begin to think C is some kind of gang member, and I was on this gang's 'attended territory'.

I get a bit scared at this.. 'What’s going on??? What are all these signals?'

'Nothing, don't worry about it, just keep going'. We walk a bit further, and he asks, 'You high?' He takes a single look at my eyes 'shit yeah you high as a kite; what you on, speed?' (I had fully dilated pupils, and was probably shivering profusely, so not an unreasonable guess).

'NO!'. 'Weed?'. 'yeah...'. 'first time?'. 'yeah...'. His facial expression changed quite a bit, a look of disappointment and relief in one...'you fucked up man, you know that, you fucked up.'

'I know...I never want to do this again.'

'How old are you?'.

'17'.

He freezes at the corner. 'Are you playing me?'. 'NO! please I just want to get home!'. He turns the corner, mumbling twice..'17 years old...17 years old...'. We walk a couple more blocks. He asks that if he walks me several blocks more, that I will give him $5 for breakfast. I agree. Again, on each block there is at least one person who C gives some kind of signal to. These times though, while walking by them he says 'He’s just a 17 year old kid...', in addition to giving a signal. Finally he walks me to a very busy road... I recognize it as Market St. He calls a passing taxi for me, and tells the driver, make sure this boy gets to the caltrain. I give C $7, thank him, and get into the cab. There were no unexpected guests this time; just a simple ride to the caltrain, after which I went home, and began writing this story.

The cab ride was about 10 minutes long, and I got to the station at 5:59. The initial flee from the bus station occurred at 5:35. Thus, this entire ordeal must have taken a total of 15 minutes. There is NO way all of this happened in 15 minutes, and this story is completely crazy, so some of this must have happened in my head. I am pretty sure C is real, simply because I don't think I was at the point where I could come up with a person in my head and have a conversation with them like they were there. There were a lot of police in the area after the party got busted. C was VERY observant to things, remembered everything I said, and something didn't quite seem right about him. His attitude was not that of an old poor man living in a shitty area. I also know that the cop I told I needed to get to a safe place was real. When I told him this, I was completely freaking out, shivering, and probably look terrified like someone was about to kill me. I cannot imagine this officer just ignoring me after I didn't follow him. Thus, whatever happened in those 15 minutes, MUST have involved police some how.

This begs the question: was C actually a gang member? Or was he an undercover police officer? His keen observations were an acquired trait I have seen only among officers. Perhaps they thought I was in some kind of danger and could not talk to a police car, and so sent this person instead? Then who were the other people C gave these signals to (I know this sounds crazy and paranoid as fuck, but I am pretty sure these signals were real; at the very least, the whole 'he’s just a 17 year old kid' was definitely real). Members of a gang C was undercover in? Other undercover cops? What about the taxi? Were those prostitutes undercover cops who ran to my attention, and it was really in fact 'ok and safe'? Was the whole taxi part even real? The prostitutes at the bus station? Were they going to attack me? Were they really there??

I was alone and tripping in a dangerous area. I fucked up. I'm lucky to be alive or not arrested. But I am not bothered by the 'omg I could have died!’ It seems rather futile to hover over an issue now that it is over and I am well. Rather, I am extremely bothered by the fact that, I have no idea what happened to me in those 15 minutes. I can't really find a way to express my feelings, but the idea that I don't know what happened to me, what parts of my memories were real, and which were not, is terrifying to me.

I had experienced weed increasing confusion on DXM trips, and weed increasing trippiness of mushroom trips. But in both these cases, it was just an increase in effects. With MDMA it was completely different. It was more like weed + MDMA = LSD. I felt neither stoned nor rolling, but rather remarkably similar to how I did when I took LSD.