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Originally Posted by _slavo_
you still love him, right? it must be tough thinking about moving on, then.
but you need to be a bit of a selfish bitch too. think about your own well-being as well.
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love yes completely. But also know that the things that hurt me I dont think will ever go away despite loving him. I imagine myself settling down and having kids with him.. but, I think that I would always feel the way I do, and that the things he does would never change. I'd have someone I love but someone I feel constantly.. I don't know the word. insufficient? and because of that, I pick at myself more emotionally. As though there must have been something else I could do to fix it. I doubt there is though...
If I were looking at my situation from someone elses point of view ( as much as I can try to do that.. ) I think I've given so many chances and tried so many times to make it work? Not that I am some type of never cranky lady.. I'm a normal person I have my moments. But on the whole... I don't know what else to do.
and still.. so many times I end up feeling as though it's all my fault.
case in point, boyshape just got home 6 minutes ago. so far I have done two things wrong. Stupid things, but things. Emotionally perhaps I have just given up. I dont know anymore.
This is why I feel the need to get away maybe? So I can figure out whether I care or not, anymore.