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Originally Posted by shentov
i guess everyone has those times around.
this is not another drug-talk thread, at least not my intention for it to be, though my shit is so tightly packed with drugs i'm getting the shivers only thinking about it.
on the other hand all of this shit made me realize that i got a bunch of kick ass friends around, which is a tough life-exam. i found out i'm in love with a girl, whos always been around. not that it made me stop using brown for the sake of her, but it helped me a lot thinking about it. if there's anything that prevents me on going back on the short term, it's losing that friendship.
so, +1 point to me on the whole situation.
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If you can find at least one reason each day to not go back, it can be the start of a positive change. At least from where you are now, you can see a lot of outcomes that have had a negative effect on your life. You have that perspective. I think when you're still deep in it, its a lot harder to see that.
I've never had a habbit that has reached that far into my life. My self destructive nature for wahtever reason hasn't chosen heavy drugs and has avoided the bad choice of drugs + alcohol combination OD a few times through dumb luck? I hate to think what I'd be like if I ever started on heroin. I used to take a lot of codeine, valium, and alcohol, plus a bit of pot to get through the day, on top of on and off taking my perscription paxil. My life would stop, I think, if I ever started on herion. I'm lucky. ...But I've had friends who have come pretty close to fucking it all up.. cocaine and heroin are fucking noxious. The realisation of how much damage you're doing to yourself, and actually caring, is a big step.
You're still alive, which is a lot to have coming out of a smack habbit.. and you've managed to hold on to some friends by the sounds of it. These things can be enough to pull you out, just need to have the strength.
Hope you can manage it, I really do. There are lots of people out there that can help you too. You should ask, if you havent already. There's nothing I wouldnt have done for my friends to help them, when they needed it, if they asked.
The hardest part from my perspective, is that after this, you'll end up making friends who've had the habbit, and it can be pretty magnetic in trying to draw you back in. As hard as it is, its probably better to stay away from anyone who is remotely inclined to start again. If you can. Again, I've seen friends use..
just one more time.. after making new friends that either still do, or used to have a smack habbit.
good luck