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Originally Posted by shentov
i hear you on that one, i'm quite afraid from what i know about the time after...
how did you resist the urge to fix just once to get rid of the "neverending boredom, depression, anxiety, and a feeling of empitiness thats extremly hard to shake"...
'cause if I couldn't resist... this might destroy what I've built until that frightening moment...
that thoughts in my head now, and I've only been off heroin for a month. not entirely off opiates, just off heroin, and depression killing me even now; I don't even imagine what I should expect after finally nullify (sp?) my MST dose.
I've also bee addicted for two years (shooting heroin, no oxys available in Eastern EU, though i'd like to snort one of those fuckers for 'knowledge purposes only' if you get the picture...).
were you and IVer, or a snort/smoke addict?
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my drug trajectory went something like this. first got high off weed when i was 13 with these older kids who i knew from the skatepark. i immedialtey loved it. it made me giggle and made me better/more fearless at skating, and music sounded amazing. this was a great time of my life, i was discovering weed and black flag and skating and girls all at the same time. i also then started drinking, blah blah. then came shrooms and acid, scared myself multiple times with both those wonderful chemicals. then came extasy and bad techo music in shitty clubs. had some great times with that. then cocaine/speed simultaneously. i got addicted to coke for a few months, especially after i had mono and got way behind in school i was sniffin coke and taking adderal all day every day. then oxycontin, snorting them. from then on all my money went to opiates and weed so i could get double-y high. i never got hooked though because theyre so expensive here. when i moved to tucson (almost 19 at this point) to start my freshman year i immediatley fell for a junkie chick. she was hot, cool, liked curtis mayfield, and loved drugs. she got me oxys for real chreap and wed get high and fuck all the time. well, eventually that relationship collapsed (as all of this type within time do) and was fucked for a drug connection. this kid who i kinda knew and listened to rad music then introduced me to mexican black tar heroin. i started smoking the shit every fucking day, then me and the kid started a band. it was a full on junk band, all four dudes shot dope. we got nothing accomplished. i only was shooting for maybe 2 weeks before it finally hit me, "WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING TO MYSELF!?!?!?!?". callled my parents, told em i needed help, took a short break from school and got myself in treatment. and now im doing great. it sure as fuck helped to have awesome parents though. they accept me for who i am, and are compassionate enough to realize that my love of getting high doesnt mean im a bad person. but ok, no more drug talk, haha.