Thread: the dark knight
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Old 07.30.2008, 10:52 PM   #205
atari 2600
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davenotdead
just saw it for the 2nd time...
Bale's voice is funny sometimes... i dont think he needed to do it around rachel and gordon, etc... eh, its not a perfect film...

I was kind of hoping I might win a T-shirt from the Letterman staffers for my try at "Top Ten Batman Pet Peeves." My submission:

Over-the-counter lozenges make a lot of promises, but none seem to really do the trick.

Anyway, I realize that the guttural voice thing is supposed to make everything that much more plausible, that Bruce Wayne is guarding his identity, but it's still a bit grating.

A friend of mine has been doing original youtube comedy clips of late and I suggested he do one about Batman (so that he would get more views) called "The Dark Knight of the Soul."

Here's a draft: (you gotta imagine it with Batman speaking with the ridiculously deep voice)
open to scene of you sleeping from end of lisa nova collab video???

change of camera angle to slight crane shot from above

phone rings several times

change of camera angle back to standard view of you on bed

finally pick up phone and mutter a tired "hello?" with a hint of a question in your voice as if to emote "who the fuck could/would be calling me this late?"

Batman: Are you the videologist?

Damion: (shaking off tiredness, sitting up in the bed a little (or completely))
Yeah

Batman (remains silent)

Damion: That's one of my many "hats."

Batman: I'm familiar. I wear a mask.

Damion: If you think about it (finally exhibiting that you're fully waking up) we all wear masks and dress in costumes.

Batman: I take it to the next level.

Damion: Yeah, I understand you're a complex guy.

Batman: I'm Batman.

Damion: Whatcha want, Batman?

Batman: Someone's been rattling my cage.

Damion: That a metaphor?

Batman: (declining to answer the question) I know that you're the one I need to talk to. I need some information.

Damion: Well, you're calling me in the middle of the night and waking me up, what's so important?

Batman: I'm troubled. The woman I love, I've always loved...since childhood...since before...she's in love with another man...and this other man is a good man, well at least he is now...and she says she can't be with me...because I'm the Batman.

Damion: That's been established. So wearing a cape and fighting crime is both a blessing and a curse, right?

Batman: I can't seem to get her out of my mind. She haunts my thoughts. I can't seem to let go of a lot of things.

Damion: Yeah, that's a problem. Why me, Batman? You calling for advice?

Batman: You're the videologist...you see things as they are. I'm a criminologist...a psychological detective, but I can't examine myself. There are obstacles.

Damion: I know a good ear, nose and throat guy. He could have a look at you.

Batman: You're wasting valuable time. There are lives hanging in the balance. It's not so simple. If I give up being the Batman then the innocent will suffer.

Damion: We wouldn't want that, no.

Batman: But I fear I'm becoming what I hate.

Damion: "Hate" is such a strong word.

Batman: I shouldn't have called you. I get better results in person.

Damion: For someone that intimidates through fear you sure have a lot of insecurities.

Batman: (as you reminded) I'm complex.

Damion: Yeah, listen Batman, I gotta get going and get back to bed. You sure you don't want me to call Dr. Lozengemann and make...

Batman: ...the things I've done...the things I've seen...

Damion: (growing annoyed, emphatically stressing the words)...and make an appointment for you.

Hey Batman, ever wonder why Jewish mothers make good parole officers? They never let anyone finish a sentence.

Batman: (makes guttural noises)

Damion: I've found it's important to develop a sense of humor. Goodnight Batman, I'm hanging up now.

(hangs up phone)
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