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One of my worst was someone telling me they broke up with their b/f and telling me that their last 3 years of bad luck with men was all my fault and that they really wanted to be with me and I said I couldn't be with her because I knew every sordid detail of how fucked up she is with men, and all this the night before we were going to a show together. Needless to say, the show was awkard with all caps.
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"One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife."
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