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where i come from if people tried to fight then they'd just get frozen by peace and then the whole village would stop by and poke them with recorders made from reindeer antlers and giggle with bright green exclamations of mirthful meanderings.
then a giant cardboard box with shimmering smiley faces on it would be pulled out by licorice ropes and placed at rest before the combatants. it would sit there for maybe twelve or nineteen minutes and about five hours and a day before the sides of the box would fall outward and then, woe, then the show really began.
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