You've got to love this little song graced by the vocals of Troy Hess. I thought that it might have been a joke at first, but it's not.
Direct link to mp3
"
Please Don't Go Topless, Mother" written by Ron Hellard. Performed by Troy Hess.
Mother dear, I know you must work
though the job you got is really not the answer
I'm so ashamed to be the only guy in my gang
whose mother is a topless Go-Go dancer
Oh, please don't go topless, Mother.
I hate to be quite so blunt.
The kids all laugh but I don't cry
You're not the only one who's putting up a front.
Oh, please don't go topless, Mother
But I just can not tell a lie
You're ruining your reputation
and I can give you two big reasons why.
Please don't go topless, Mother
Even though it buys me clothes to wear
I'd rather wear old rags, Mother
You've got a burden you shouldn't have to bear.
[
talks] Oh, please don't go topless, Mother.
Little friends won't come to see me (but their
Daddy's do)
I'll shine shoes, I'll collect pop bottles
anything to help out.
Then we'll go off together and start over
with no shame for the people to talk about.
Oh, please don't go topless, Mother.
I hate to be quite so blunt.
The kids all laugh but I don't cry
You're not the only one who's putting up a front.
Full song:
Please Don't Go Topless Mother
I first came across it on the weirdsville website a few years ago and it's become a favourite.
More info on about Troy Hess and his father Bennie Hess on this blog:
http://www.dreamtimepodcast.com/2007_02_01_archive.html