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"I had this wonderful arrangement with the entire universe without actually meeting anybody, just through the wonderful postal service. The crisis of my teenage life was when postage stamps went up from 12p to 13p. I was outraged"
"I'm dramatically underexposed. I demand more attention!"
"There are indeed worse groups than Modern Romance. But can anybody seriously think of one?"
"Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death"
"I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke"
"...sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard"
"Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it"
"All I said was 'bring me the head of Elton John', which would be one instance when meat would not be murder, if it was on a plate"
"Don't talk to me about people who are 'nice' cause I have spent my whole life in ruins because of people who are 'nice'"
"That was the problem with the 'celibate' word because they don't consider for a moment that you'd rather not be, but you just are. I was never a sexual person"
"That's why I do this music business thing, it's communication with people without having the extreme inconvenience of actually phoning anybody up"
"You have to, at least from a distance, look as if you know what you're doing, and I can manage that"
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....Of Course its some kinda cosmic payback for being too ironic!
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