VYVYAN: I still don't see why we have to dig the grave, carry the coffin, and ...everything else.
NEIL: Well we are sort of responsible for his being in this position in the first place.
VYVYAN: Liberal!
RICK: You should have heard me at the undertakers, Mike; I made all these fabulous jokes about the undertaker coming 'round to measure my stiffie!
NEIL: I thought maybe we should have some, like, floral tribute, but all I could find was this carrot. So I borrowed Rick's Biro
RICK: You rented it, Neil You rented it! And you still haven't paid!
NEIL: ...yeah, and I wrote on it, "Sorry about everything being a bit of a bummer, you know, what with you dying and everything, but still, things could have been worse. You could have been me and ended up having a really bad time all of the time, signed, Neil".
MIKE: That's very touching, Neil.
VYVYAN: When my hamster finds out you've nicked his carrot, he's gonna kill you Neil.
NEIL: Was it SPG's? I didn't know he ate carrots.
VYVYAN: He doesn't eat carrots, Neil! He sticks them down his underpants to impress the girls.
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