Dear Mr. Norris:
I have begun casting for the movie adaptation of my life. Willem Dafoe won't call me back, and the producers think that you would make a better fit anyways.
the plan is for a CGI kung fu porn thriller, so I realize this might stray from your usual Walker Texas Ranger gig, but I'm sure a qualified actor such as yourself can handle it.
as well as a fat paycheck, I'll be willing to cut you a deal on the floatingslowly action figures (
you can get half off)!!!!! I also promise to
NEVER make comparisons between you and David Carradine again!!
please consider my proposal and have your people get with my people who will promptly get back to your people.
Kindest Regards,
floatingslowly
