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Originally Posted by SynthethicalY
I do, but I can't drop out because I see no other way to get out of this shithole I live in. I have been feeling shitty since two weeks ago. I am getting frustrated and I see no way out of this shitty thing I am in. I am starting to hate the values I once held closely, like caring for other people even if I do not know them, I just want to tell them get a fucking job or shut the fuck up and go and live your life without me. I hate elitist people more than anything, because they for once think they are better than I or the rest of the world. Frankly my dear you are a worthless piece of flesh, and you will die out like I will. And your last breath will be some vain attempt to salvage your soul, truth be told you are the last person to go to heaven. I want to cry, but I can't because BOYS DON'T CRY. I want to leave and never come back, and I think this is absurd because from what I know of my childhood I know I had a good life. And I truly love my family, and so forth. Well what it all comes down to is I want to live life, but I feel contrived to do what I am doing now.
Sorry for posting this, but need to vent out.
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Don't worry. I feel the same way. I just finished my second quarter of college and I hate it. I don't just hate college, I hate all school (elementary, junior high, high school); I always have. But throughout my whole life I could see no other way to get out of my status in society other than by getting a good education. I knew at a very young age that I had to go to college. I, like you, also want to leave. I have a great family and I had a great childhood too. But I just want to go far way and be on my own. But I can't; I need to finish school, pay off my car, and my mom would not take my departure very well.
Right now, I plan to get my degree and after that I'll just leave. I love my family, but I just want to drop out and leave and live on my own.
Anyways, just keep trying to go to shcool. You've gone for 12 years so you might as well go for 4 more. It'll go by fast. I'm almost finishing my first year and it feels like I just started. Also, make friends at school. It really helps.