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leaving high school and being "forced" to make your own decisions does not affect anything or create any sort of invisible motivator .
some people just aim in any direction at all and just go from there, out of not being able to accept making No decision.
Other people sort of fall into this pre-destined tradition....your town is a mining town so you mine....your dad is a pharmacist so you school in pharmacy....etc....
i personally have fallen into making no decision . ive basically been doing absolutely nothing . when i was 13 or so i invented and wrote of all these nasty ways i envisioned myself ending up...but i ended up far worse than any of them - i ended up doing absolutely nothing . and yes i realize that its a bunch of bullshit to think a person has to be 'productive' in order to find worth for themselves in life , but i dont really know how else to describe it . its all the motivation . why cant i find any reason to enjoy life ?
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