[jennthebenn]

The Vikes run out first, and boos cascade. Fred Smoot leads his team out holding up an American flag. I'll let a fan behind me tell it:
"Oh, see, I can't boo now. He's an asshole for doing that, you know?"

I love Fred Smoot. I won't marry him, but I'll spend a weekend or two on a boat with him.

Please just kick the fucking ball...coin toss...Vikings get it! Oh hell yes, purple power.

On the return, Pierson Prioleau of the Skins hurts himself. He limped off on his own power, but I didn't see him again. Also, Sean Springs will be out due to abdomen surgery! Throw it, Brad, throw it till your arm falls off. Hahaha, Deadskins!

Big catch by the boy Troy Dub on this opening drive sets up a Chester Taylor TD run right in our endzone. Woooo. Damn, if this is all the Skins can do against our pourous running game, I thought. The two other Vikings in our section were pumped, none more so than a middle-aged dude who was guzzling and shit-talking at a marvelous pace. He would, as the game progressed, become more intoxicated and more shit-igniting than I would ever dream. The only positive I could take from his misbehavior was the way it supremely pissed off a straw-haired Skins fanatic sitting in front of him. Dude looked like he drove a Redskins van with shag carpeting and incense.

The point after was missed due to an errant snap, which peeved me no end. First, it costs the Vikes a valuable extra number on the scoreboard and also, I have their kicker on both my fantasy teams. Not good.

Redskins owner Dan Snyder is dipping his gout-stricken feet in Hollywood, apparently, accounting for the presence of royalty such as TomKat and Jamie Foxx at the game. Mind you, they all looked like blobs to me from where I was.

The Skins fought back with a Clinton Portis rush to the endzone in the second quarter. Sigh. The Vikings were giving up bigger plays than they were executing and I was flaring up inside. Troy, dude...Brad was ready to make you an instant Monday night star. Who told you to butter up before that play? Those balls have to be caught, fella. That was an instant touchdown you let slip past your hands.

A great moment comes when Santana Moss loses a surefire TD grab thanks to Darren Sharper absolutely blowing him the fuck up. BANG! You got the pwned, son. Lovely to see the ball squirt out onto the field after my breathing had just stopped in anticipation of ANOTHER six for the hated Skins.

Halftime arrives, and I am not thrilled. Minnesota has closed the gap to 13-9 but this field goal shit has to end. There are only so many times a team can penetrate the red zone and just walk away with 3 and expect to chalk up the win. These penalties must cease as well, man, that's Raiders football.

"Hail to the Redskins" is a horrible team song. Patrick makes a case for its value due to the fact that so few professional American teams can boast fans singing their own fight tune, making the Redskins close to an overseas soccer squad, and thus a bit special. I would have loved to see Steve Hutchinson headbutt a few Skins, no doubt.

The midgame ceremonies include an unfurled flag held by several citizens of great repute and dancers as Lee "Canadian" Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" plays. I worried for my teeth, for various reasons.

Much classier was the appearance of Isaac Ho'opi'i, a Pentagon K-9 police officer who saved multiple lives at the crash site on 9/11, and leads the crowd here in a singalong to "God Bless America". A truly heroic person, he did a very good job with a beautiful song. It moved me infinitely more than any sea of red/white/blue and bellicose chanting.

Back to the game...Brad Johnson is so solid. He even threw a pass off with his left hand when Marcus Washington tied up his right and damn near got a completion off it. Skins are not scaring him. I remember being impressed by the utter lack of interceptions by either QB at that point.

The Skins suck on 3rd down, and we are ruling.

Entering the 4th, my confidence was soaring. 16-16. Redskins are gonna crush WHO? Y'all looking a little TOO forward to the Cowboys next week.

Ryan Longwell missed a 50+ yard field goal. Hmm. A bit counterproductive to the mission.

Patrick and I were in the moments, words kept to a minimum as if they would break the spell. The Vikes were making plays when they needed to, converting 3rd downs and eating up clock. Also, the Redskins decided to play Raider ball and penalties helped move the ball. Sean Taylor's dumb ass with face mask and late hit calls. HAHAHAHA. Why is this crowd not bigging up their D? Where's the 12th man?

"Losers!" This is the straw-hair fan admonishing those spectators sitting and silent as the Vikings made their charge. "90,000 losers!"

Finally, I spoke up. "They don't want it! They don't want this game." I was grinning ear to ear. We are going to fucking win. Their defense is beat and these fans are drained and drunk and slowly realizing that the preseason was not a horrible fluke. Wow, the collective thought goes, we really ARE bad. Yes, you are. The Eagles will actually destroy you.

Steve Hutchinson was giving Chester Taylor holes the size of China to run through. Jesus. Redskins are gonna crush WHO?

With one minute left, Longwell nails a field goal. 19-16. My God. The Skins with only one timeout. My God.

My fears that the Vikes will blow it (flashbacks to Arizona, whoa) flare up when the Redskins return the kickoff to the 38. Big passes come and put the team within field goal range. Shit goddamn shit. This cannot stand!

3rd and 6, Randle-El catches the ball and steps out of bounds. I assumed he had the 1st, but it was 4th and 1. 17 seconds. Here comes John Hall to tie it with a field goal of 48 yards. The stands are abuzz with disbelief. GO FOR THE WIN. It hits me that if the Vikes had made their very first point after attempt, Washington would have had no choice but to go for the win.

The kick is aimed at the uprights at the opposite end of the field from where we are seated and I almost can't watch. But, I had averted my eyes during Longwell's lead-snatching kick earlier, and if Hall misses, I want that vision in my memory forever.

"Krastian said never put money on Hall," I reminded Patrick. In fact, many Skins fans feel that way, but Krastian is one of the few Hogs-supporters I actually like, so I feel better using him as a reference. Ha!

THAT SON OF A WOMAN OF ILL REPUTE MISSED THAT SHIT LIBERALLY! WIDE LEFT, PONK!

I had my arms around Patrick and celebrated by doing a great cobra clutch and yelling, "Yeeeessss! They won!" The fans began leaving, crestfallen and aww boo hoo, while I had a grin two goalposts wide. Go back to them racin' cars, Gibbs.


apologies for my mighty morphin power font.