Originally Posted by !@#$%!
o man! that sounds rough. like a war vet.
not sure if this will be observable for you, given everything, but i notice tea for me has a calmer aspect to it than coffee. have you you tried/compared? ( this is of course peanuts vs. what you describe but small effects can add up i guess.)
Well, I used to drink coffe like a muh. Not just coffee ether... espresso and lots of it. (If you’re from the Pacific Northwest or the east coast, strong ass coffee becomes a way of life.) But yeah, I have tried tea exclusively a few different times. I like it, but unfortunately there’s something about green and back tea that kicks my gag reflex into overdrive. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a few cups of tea and then puked a couple hours later. So I do really wussy teas, like that fake chai with milk that tastes more like cinnamon hot chocolate. That seems to be fine, and has just enough caffeine to do the job (too much sugar though... sugar increases anxiety too), but if I try to drink just black tea or green tea, I get ill. It’s fucking weird is what it is.
These days I only drink coffee on Wednesdays and Fridays, which are the busiest work days of the week, when I’m guaranteed to be at it from early morning until late at night.
Anxiety is a bitch. I don’t even know that what I’m going through now qualifies as depression, because it’s clearly rooted in fear about several different things going on in my life, or that seem like the might be impending. Nothing tangible though. Still not rational. Disabling at times. Hence the meds.
I think there is a little bit of PTSD to all of this as well, but that’s an anxiety disorder, so it’s all one thing in my mind. But it’s not really anything like what a vet goes through, I’m sure. I’m just a privileged middle class guy whose biggest enemy is his own brain.
But all things being equal, I’d rather have a pill available to me that can dramatically reduce the intensity of an attack when it hits. It reduces my anxiety just knowing it’s there. It’s not a great long term solution, but in this day and age, it’s reallt all about getting through the day. Survival baby!