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Old 11.30.2017, 04:24 PM   #167
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
(That massage bit depressed me. Reminded me I don't have anyone in my life to massage me on a regular basis. Thanks.)

maybe you can find a good and affordable massage therapist. no it doesn’t have to be with a happy finish in a truckstop but i guess it could too ha ha ha. but no, seriously, some places are quite affordable (i’m looking at you berkeley springs w. va.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
Depression is my nemesis and he seems to flare up this time of year, but I've been doing well. It's the little things, boring things. Oats? I added that to my list.

same here. it used to hit me by october, but i’ve been doing better since taking vitamin d supplements (by the way, take note)— it’s more delayed now but it comes as the winter deepens. and then there’s february and blam.

but today i sat outside with the computer for a while— it was bright and hard to see the screen but i can feel the effects. the first day i sat in front of the window i got so wired i had trouble sleeping that night. today i’m calmer— really calm like i’ve been dosed with lithium ha ha ha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
Walking. Light. Water. Sleep. Meditation. Keeping busy. Nothing at all exciting, nothing that makes me wildly blissful.

for the “wildly blissful” i think you gotta add to the dopamine side of the equation. that’s the pleasure neurotransmitter. obviously not with drugs that leave you spent later but an exercise high can be awesome. or doing something you do well like play music (doesn’t have to be with an audience).

Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
But I think my goal used to be to defeat depression, when it makes more sense to just keep it under control by doing these little things on a mostly daily basis. Wish I knew this years ago. I was looking for a big answer, but it's just little maintenance things that have provided me with the most relief.

yep. discipline and consistency are key. i mean. you either make time your enemy or your ally.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
That's just my level of depression. Others may need more help.

well of course

Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
Mornings are worse for me. Maybe my chemicals are out of whack the first few hours of the morning. Or maybe the problem comes from not being active and allowing my mind wander to bad places. Not sure.

im not a morning person either, but sitting outside in the morning (no exercise required) is starting to work very quickly for me. the effect lasts for hours & hours. even a cloudy morning, yes.

as for wandering to bad places, yeah. the guy in that link talks about “remembering happy events” and that doesn’t have to come from a long time ago. it can be recent, like today.

e.g. i’m trying to practice what’s so cornily called “gratitude” ha ha ha, which is— to think about good shit that happens to you, however small. a bit like ivan denisovich in his gulag, yeah, thinking about his small victories. did you ever read that book? great great stuff.

to think about the good. that shit is key. it’s not lies really, it’s not denying bad shit happens. it’s just choosing to let the mind dwell in nourishment not poison and take some strength from it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
All I know is depression used to rule my life and I finally got sick of it and have tried to fight back. It's been easier (but less exciting) than I would've thought.

yeah. don’t romanticize that bitch. depression is not your lover. you don’t need a grand dramatic exit to say goodbye to it. it’s one step, one step, one step, one step—like that. it’s really about maintaining your biolological state above instead of below a certain line. at least that’s how i’m trying to deal with it. it’s not about “happiness” so much as not having a broken brain/body.

light therapy, bitchez!
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