[!@#$%!]

ps i didn't mean to diss good food & beverages. i really like them, as i enjoy my senses. and i'm glad america now has more choices in this regard. but as it is customary, consumer choices become social fetishes of some kind. and there's not just middle class fetishes-- the poor have their own, and those can be the most damaging sometimes.

so what i'm trying to avoid is the fetishization itself, regardless of class/income-- the thing/purchase/"experience"/feat that will presumably make you whole/redeemed/accepted/loved. the thing to chase. it is a mirage.

the more you avoid chasing it, the more you see it being chased, and the more you depart from it the greater the pressure to conform-- "hey, why aren't you doing the same thing we're doing? are you weird or something?" so i buck like a wild horse easily these days--i will have no riders.oh, so earnest! this is probably just a different kind of mirage i'm chasing anyway, ha ha ha.