[atsonicpark]

Originally Posted by Derek

'bad movies' is completely subjective though..

I mean "movies that are bland and boring", not a "b-movie" which is "enjoyably bad".


If anyone lives in AUSTIN, TEXAS.. .they're showing NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR at a theatre there tonight. It is by far my favorite horror movie of all time. It has puppets, claymation, breakdancing ,and more. If you haven't seen this film, you are missing out. IT IS BY FAR AND AWAY THE GREATEST HORROR FILM EVER MADE.

This guy is in it:

 

God and Satan play chess in it:

 

Satan is credited as "Lou Syfer" and God is credited as "Al Mighty"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the inexplicable claymation creatures in it:

 

The VHS cover:

 

and my imdb review: 8 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Everybody but YOUUU!, 11 September 2004
Author: A C from IN
10/10 stars

The first time I saw this, I was in awe. The second time I saw this, I was in disbelief. The third time, I knew this was my favorite movie of all time. This film is COMPLETELY insane and mindboggling, and it's nice (though strange) that this film seems to have gained newfound recognition since being recently released on DVD. Holy crap.. to those who HAVEN'T seen it, you just have no idea what you'll be getting into! I'm jealous!

...This is a masterpiece, pretty much, and it's perfect for anyone with a short attention span -- this thing is edited like a trailer, since it's cut up from 3 different completely unrelated films, and only the best parts of each film are shown!


God and Satan are sitting on train, deciding the fate of people as a really horrible band plays music. They play the same song for about 15 minutes of the film's duration, the singer sometimes break dancing while some females do cheers and stuff. It's like a terribly-produced music video (with the terrible outtakes) for a terrible song that has absolutely no connection to the rest of the movie except that God and Satan occasionally mention it as if it's some kind of blasphemous Satanic metal of some sort.

As this band plays, God and Satan watch three different stories. These stories are actually three different films, like I said, ALL UNFINISHED and UNENSICAL: The first, the unfinished Scream Your Head Off, which is a confusing tale about a guy being forced to drug women so a guy can chop them to pieces? None of it makes any sense, and it probably wouldn't have made sense had the film been finished. But not only was the film not finished, but we are left with a CUT version of the unfinished film. So, it makes no sense, since key scenes were never even filmed!: We have Richard Moll strapping extremely naked girls down on tables, molesting them, and then using a hacksaw to cut them to pieces. It's all pretty gory (there's a rather brutal decapitation scene near the end), it's filled with things that make no sense, and there is karate in it. Cuz the bad guy turns good. And uses karate. For no reason.

I really like the second story; in fact, it's probably my favorite of the bunch. It's made of a movie that was called Death Wish Club. We have a guy that looks like James Vander Beak who falls in love with a porn star, and they then decide to play suicide games. Then, we rush through a 15-minute version of a probably-90 minute film. So, instead of character development or much story development, we're left to look on as new characters are introduced randomly and some of the characters even change appearances, which is even more confusing.


...Take this one scene for example: The main character is sitting next to his porn star girlfriend, who has a completely different haircut (and looks like a boy now?!) and he appears to be angry at her for no apparent reason. If he's so angry, why is he participating in suicide games? Why is ANYONE participating in the suicide games in the first place? And why does the person who is HAVING the suicide games not just kill James Vander Beak and get it over with instead of having them go through the games?
These are some questions you'll be asking yourself probably, but it's best not to think too hard: This story is amazingly hilarious. There is absolutely no continuity because of the cutting, so there is adding narration to explain what the hell is going on.


There is a killer clay bug, there is a man being shocked to death (one of the most amazing scenes in history... seriously), there is a head exploding. Great story. Makes no sense.. but it's a great story.

The next story had many releases on video, but it is probably best known as "Cataclysm". This story features a ton of actors from the previous stories, and it suffers mainly from some pacing problems. Unlike the previous stories, this goes on and on and on for about 35 minutes. And it's sort of pointless, as you watch as the movies goes on and on with no idea what IS going on. Evil Satan nazi turns into HORRIBLE-looking claymation creatures and sucks on people and makes huge explosions in old men's skulls and crucifies a puppet. Or something. Some stock footage here, some unexplainable deaths there (why does that one character gets killed, anyway?.. Or that other one -- what did he do?!); it's best not to think about it)

Seriously, this is solid gold if you like entertaining films. Those who like "good" movies, stay away. Also reccomended: KAMILLIONS.


TRAILER!:
http://www.google.com/url?q=http://w...ErJrprjmVFEV6Q