Woo ha ha its bin hard like but i'm bak y'kno, eh?
 

Woooo ha ha guess wot eh no don't bother rite 'cos i'll just tell ya the gud newses right THE GOBLINS BAK YEAH HA HA thats rite the fukkin goblin hey let me tell yu it feel gud rite 'cos i missed yall yeh well most of yu aniway HA HA but nevver mynd that rite mynd this yeh i kno that peepel ar aready askin like HEY GOBLIN HOW IS IT LIKE THAT YU BAK N WOT FUKKIN HAPPEND N ALL EH well let me tell yu now, i've bin travellin arownd a lot n meetin new peepl n all an gettin pissed rite too cos yu kno the goblin has to get pissed sumtymes so evenshually rite i was runnin thru this weerd forest n i herd this voyce cryin like it woz sumone bein attked so i went to see wot was happnin n gess wot yeah thats rite yull nevver believe it it was only two fukkin bastard elves rite n they were tryin to force this goblin to giv bak sumthin that she'd stolen from the elves wich isn't fair rite cos THE ELVES AR ONLI FUKKIN RICH BECOS THEY KEEP OPPRESSIN THE GOBLINS N ALL so its onli rite that like we tayk wot we like so rite i crept up behind the elves n hit them reely hard on the head wiv me big stik wich i'm reely gud wiv cos i've been practisin loads n the elves just fell to the floor unconshous wiv like a bit of blood wich was like DED FUKKIN FUNNI AND NOT MEEN AT ALL, so i saved this chik rite and then i saw her and gess wot I NEW HOO SHE WOS RITE it was fukkin onli JAFFI THE PROFESSERS WIFE WASNT IT and hey gess wot yeh I'D FUKKIN BAYSICALLY WALKED IN A GRATE BIG FUKKIN JIGANTK SIRCLE BACK TO THE FOREST OF LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i started to think like oh shit i'll get caught by the elves for that stuff i did but then rite an this is fukkin JEENIUS of the hiyest fukkin style rite i saw a poster that the BASTARD gnome police had put up sayin like WE WON'T BE NASTY TO ANIONE WHO TELLS US WHERE THE GOBLIN IS HIDIN' EVEN IF YU WON OF HIS MAYTES like immuninunity from prossycushon so i thort oh fukkin hells yeh so i put me hud up to hyde me face and then i went back to Gundle Village yeh and reed this rite I WALKED RITE INTO THE GNOME POLICE STATION yeh wich made me a bit fukkin nervus in cayse i wos spotted and i throo off me hud and i sed to the gnome polices person HEY I CAN TELL YU WHERE THE FUKKIN GOBLIN IS Y'STOOPID TURD HE'S RITE FUKKIN HERE N YOUR STOOPID POSTER SEZ THAT YU CAN'T FUKKIN TUCH ME COS I'VE JUST TOLD YU WER I AM SO HA HA HA YU HAV TO LET ME GO N NOT BE MEEN TO ME n so the gnome police bastards had this fukkin daft meetin rite and called the elves in n i wos lyke laffin me fukkin bolloks off n they had to let me go N THEY CANT TUCH ME COS THEY PROMMIST ON THE POSTER HA HA HA FUKKIN DAFT ELVES N STOOPID GNOME POLICE so they just made themselves feel a bit better by maykin me promise lyke not to get into trubble ennimore so i sed that i'd be gud but theres a fukkin twist in the tayl cos i had me fukkin FINGERS CROSSD so wot i did wos i went home n made mrs goblin happi y'kno how that is eh ha ha then i went to dristilla the wizardessses hows to tell yu all abowt thingz 'n' hey now i'm gonna go n caus sum trubble for the daft fukkin elves n stoopid fukkin gnomes cos yu gotta du wot yu gotta du rite ha ha thats rite a moral from the goblin for yu see yu soon eh fukkin luv from the goblin.

Interesting....

Ha ha thankz Trip cos i see that yu like a man of fyew werdz thats like me rite i try to be like reely consise too n not say to mutch cos y'kno sum peepl they just fukkin go on for ages rite n they shud sumtimes like just SHUT THE FUK UPS n let other peepl speek yeh its like the fukkin gnome police wen they tork to me n try to tell me hey dont be causin like trubbles n i just want to get away n thro stiks at elves or sumthin aniway thats wot i think yeh.

You use your words beautifully.

to see three things at once: the real, the unreal and that things are neither real or unreal - paraphrase of Pascal

The obstacle to becoming is our horror of the void. Instead of vanity, emptiness. Being found in the shape of a human being, he emptied himself and was poured into a bottle. Listen again for the connection between hoc est corpus meum, hocus pocus, and the Hokey-Pokey. Do you hear it? Sure you do. It's a Vodka Goblin that's just been released, dancing.

....woohoo...I can hardly contain myself...I've missed you so much

I to lazy to translate it and read it.

/CARE

YES! My prayers have been answered.

HAHAHA hey HAydin wen i got bak from me eksile y'kno mrs goblin was lyke so pleesdan eksited to see me that MY fukkin prares wer ansered two, y'kno wot the goblins talkin abowt or does the goblin hav to paynt a pikshure eh, probli not reeli yu kno wots bein talkd abowt eh.

fantastic.

Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Are there any good record shops in the grundle village? I've been contemplating moving there and attending Goblin University.

hooray for vodka goblin!

i've missed you so damn much

VG, what are you on, man? That can't be no ordinary caffeine buzz...

hhaha you deserve a cookie. id like to see a video of you saying it

Vodka

ha ha
ha ha ha
i just read your post you rascal goblin
good job @ avoiding the coppers & it's great to see you back here
cheers


now we are awaiting for the publication of your memoirs ,you hear? or some sort of long-form account of your adventures.

well i gotta go but keep us posted.

Good to see ya back duuuude

YES

Hey ha ha ha i'm fukkn tuched rite cos yu all ded nise to me n hey i nevver forget lyke y'kno well eksept that i forget wot the gnomes say abowt dont caus ennimore trubbles y'kno but thats not reely forgetin thats just me not listnin enniway thanks yeh n now i'm jus gonna tork to haydin rite so he says to me lyke rite


n lyke i say rite thers no rekkord shops at all cos we got no electikalicity or noffin cos owr world issent lyke that we need to yuse majik to summmon things n then we yuse other majik to mayk them werk n all hey dristilla the wizzardes dus that y'kno cos she kool n all n we dont have no yuniversititys two cos lyke the basterd elves dont wont the goblins to be eddycated propli but we kool we eddycayt eech ovver n hey WE DONT LET THE ELVES HAV THE YUNIVERSITITYS EYTHER COS WE BE BURNIN THEM DOWNS n all cos we grate lyke that n evryfin n evryfin.