Why are there not more murders during the rush hour?
 

That more people aren't killing each other on packed trains and buses never ceases to amaze me. I was on a hot bus today at about 5.30 and I had thoughts of slauhgter towards at least 50% of my fellow passengers. (And i'm a NICE guy!)

Tell me about it. I have to suffer it EVERY DAY! Why do people make so many children. Jeez!

I had a group in front of me whose combined vocabulary consisted solely of the words 'izzit', 'naaaaah' and the 'f' word.

The other day this guy got on the bus with a huge rucksack on his shoulders, which is enough to make you feel hated by the squashed human flesh on the number 25 straight away. He started being pushy and an argument ensued. I spent the whole time smiling to myself, on a seat that is rare to get. I'm shocked at the amount of people clutching cans that early in the morning. It's not rare to see men and women having their first can of Super Strong at 8:00 am in the morning.

being subjected to other people's armpit in a crowded bus in the summer puts me in a murderous state of mind too.

my guess is that it's a mutually assured destruction type of scenario...

Not that far from my daily vocab, to be sure. What with that, and my constant beer spillage round his gaff, it's amazing that DR666 hasn't murda'd mi already.

And the sexual tension builds up. Do you wear Elton John's glasses for those 'special' occasions?

Well, of course! And I wear a special "Furnish" wig, too. When me and DR666 get together, it's murder!

by comparison..........why isn't driving during rush hour safer? i mean if all the assholes are dying in drunk driving incidents and while not seeing over their giant suv dashboard

the only thing i can think is that assholes are being taught quicker how to kill people by buying fast cars and big suvs, then ask them to rush around to get some coffee and killing a family of 3 on the beltway

i don't drive much, but i hate to when i do, day after day it's getting worse, and i don't care to behind the wheel when the next one happens

So, who stays on top most of the time.? I suppose at your combined ages you need to have a little chat beforehand, innit love? And has the wig ever slipped off your head and revealed the secrets of this planet? Just curious.

^^^First question shall NOt be answered, dear. Second question - yes, of course. It exposes the secrets of time and my world-famous comb over.

If you tried extentions, you'd save your time answering first rate questions. After all, getting the right chromatics of a rat's fur is not that difficult.

I remember reading about an unbelievable amount of people being killed on the trains of Mumbai. Not just due to murder, but people being killed because of their position on the trains. Riding along the top, while approaching a tunnel for example, would seem a bit dangerous...

(In Brian Sewell voice) My dear, I think you'll find I don't need extensions. Only the riff-raff need that sort of thing.

Yeah, I suppose you should leave it like that, if you can't get it any longer.

*Coughs*

I like my hair the way it is, sweetie, lank and stringy.

I was going to invite you to my next syrup soiree, but I've decided to change my mind.