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Rob Instigator 02.13.2017 11:10 AM

Grammy's almost killed me last night
My wife asked me to sit through them with her, and allowed me to be as snarky as I wanted, (even though, about 30-40 minutes in, my snark was already at such blisteringly acidic levels that she asked me to town it down, only to have me repeat constantly, "you said I could snark through it.") and it was a fucking nightmare of inoffensive blandness.

Some thoughts....

I cannot stand to hear that fucking repetitive nightmare of a "song" by Adele. It is as bad as Whitney Houston's cover of Dolly's I will Always Love You.

My wife is a huge George Michales fanatic, and she explained to me that Adele stopped the song because she had changed the words to the song she sang in tribute, replacing the word "bullshit." and it felt wrong, so she re-started the song and cursed it up. I like British girls with potty mouths..

Watching Metallica and Gaga try to rip it up was brutal at times, and interesting at times. The Grammy fucks did not turn on Hetfield's mic for his first two verses. fucking sucked. then had to watch him and gaga trade spit as they shared a mic and their respective shit breath... I have always said that Gaga could be a metal lead singer, but I would have loved for them to play an old Metallica classic...

There is no reason to include Pentatonix in anything.

The Bee Gee's tribute was suck. I saw a Bee Gee's tribute band from Australia perform at Houston;'s Miller Outdoor Theatre (I took my mom, a huge bee gee fanatic) and they were fuckiing awesome. This grammy shitstain?

Beyonce put on the single most pretentious, over-the-top, ridiculous self-aggrandizing performance all to praise the state she finds herself in because she allowed Jay Z to go raw and spray his gonad juice inside her beehive. It was also quite beautiful looking. She tries to hard to be the next Badu but she does not have the soul nor the intellect. Much art is equally pretentious and beautiful. it has to be that way sometimes.

There were too many elegaic, boring, pensive musical set pieces and i almost destroyed my television....

I had to break out the dabs y'all. I made it about 45 minutes before I needed that full on 90% thc.

The pasty white thighs hosting the show was in over his head, and his Brit sense of timing and humor came off very off-off-off-broadway dinner theater schtick, but he was better than sycophantic and deadly dull LL Cool J.

There was an even shorter prince doing a prince tribute. His guitar solo was weak.

The sound system was not optimal for Tribe Called Quest minus Phife. It did not sound good. At least they did not play Vibrant Thing.

So many no-name blonde singer women with guitars....boring

I do not understand how, before Tribe came out to perform, Katy Perry performed some sort of freshman intro-to-performance project with a weaksauce reggae lite song provided by one of the youngest of Bob Marley's near-infinite brood of bastards (he slayed a lot of strange trim) in which a bunch of white dancers, dressed in white, on a white stage, with white props, sang about who the fuck knows what. It was as bullshit as her over-lined top lip, (Katy Perry has no top lip, a condition many white women suffer from, like Kiley Jenner)

When J Lo came on stage, her dress had a massive slit in front and it parted and you could see plain view of her delicately trimmed motherload sans undies It looked quite nice.

so much shit. so much.

Severian 02.13.2017 11:49 AM

Grammys were dead before they arrived. Bowie wasn't nominated for album of the year. He'll get it in 10 years with an anthology or some shit when a younger, better artist deserves it.

Kanye competed against himself in three categories and didn't win anything. Drake did. Stuff of nightmares, that. Also hilarious.

Chance as "Best New Artist" is a bad sign. He's been recording since 2012. He won best rap album with an album that wasn't an album. Good for him and stuff, but I can see him becoming insufferable following this.

Fuck the Grammys man.

I didn't watch any of it by the way. Adele won over Beyoncé. Should not have. Not as bad as Tyler beating Kendrick, but pretty goddamn bad.

I'm with Frank Ocean and Kanye on the whole Grammys thing. Antiquated. Ridiculous. Not having a Grammy is a better predictor of artistic integrity than having one. Thus, they are meaningless and counterproductive to the very industry they serve.

Rob Instigator 02.13.2017 12:27 PM

Best New Artist in Grammy-speak is a death-knell.

louder 02.13.2017 02:43 PM

My father is an Adele fan. She's dreadfully boring but he likes what he likes.

I told him that she won some stupid awards. Didn't seem too enthusiastic.

louder 02.13.2017 02:45 PM


Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
Best New Artist in Grammy-speak is a death-knell.

For that reason alone, I'm glad Anderson .Paak (who's newer than Chance and in my opinion, infinitely better than him) didn't win over him.

Kuhb 02.13.2017 03:03 PM

Bill Hicks had a line perfect for this topic.

dead_battery 02.13.2017 04:19 PM

a lot of people don't realize this but adele is actually a stale beef curry from a dodgy chinese takeaway with a 2 star food hygiene rating somewhere in leeds.

you might think adele is a person but if you look closely you will realize she's actually a beef curry.

Rob Instigator 02.13.2017 04:30 PM

Leeds! HOOD is from Leeds! I love HOOD!

tesla69 02.13.2017 05:59 PM

Its amazing that I agree with Justin Beiber.

Surprised the J Lo glimmer isn't front page news today...

Kuhb 02.13.2017 06:13 PM


Originally Posted by dead_battery
a lot of people don't realize this but adele is actually a stale beef curry from a dodgy chinese takeaway with a 2 star food hygiene rating somewhere in leeds.

you might think adele is a person but if you look closely you will realize she's actually a beef curry.

I laughed out loud

greenlight 02.14.2017 01:44 AM

grammys were on last night? had to be embarrassing.

but hey!

category 78 Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance

Steve Reich winner

best contemporary Christian music album? hehe what a category... why not..

_slavo_ 02.14.2017 08:27 AM


Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
Leeds! HOOD is from Leeds! I love HOOD!

I actually met these guys in person and had lunch with them (I was their tourguide on their gig in Slovakia in 2005). Nice guys, the singer was very quiet though.

Genteel Death 02.14.2017 09:20 AM


Originally Posted by _slavo_
the singer was very quiet though.

Was he as quiet as Hood's first album?

_slavo_ 02.14.2017 11:57 AM


Originally Posted by Genteel Death
Was he as quiet as Hood's first album?

He refused to say.

Rob Instigator 02.15.2017 09:01 AM


Severian 02.15.2017 11:40 AM

It's "Grammys" by the way. Plural. No apostrophe.


I do believe that the Grammy voting membership needs to turnover. I think it's positively INSANE for an award show that presumes to be some kind of ultimate authority on music, to have a voting base consisting of 63-year-old white men (as you, Rob, have previously pointed out.)
Rich old white guys should not be in charge of world music, electronic music, hip-hop, "urban contemporary" (bleeeeech), "alternative" (more meaningless now than it's ever been) or "metal." Or anything really.

Severian 02.15.2017 11:41 AM

In semi-related news...

The Village Voice finally released its list for 2016. Previously known as the Paz and Jop Critics' Poll, then briefly, for a handful of months, known, in theory, as the "Village Voice Music Critics' Poll" for some fucking reason... it ended up retaining its classic title after all (sort of... cover reads: PAZZ & JAP: The Village Voice Music Critics' Poll"). Shrug. So Pazz & Jop 2016 is out now.

I don't agree with all or most of or even half of the picks, but I still think this is pretty much the gold standard for this shit.

ALBUM: David Bowie, Blackstar
SINGLE: Beyoncé, "Formation"

* NOTE: Kanye West has never not had an album in the Pazz & Jop top 10. Four of his 8 albums (including Watch the Throne) have been #1. He's tied with Bob Dylan for the most #1 picks in P&J history, and Dylan had a 30+ year head start. Just saying.

Their singles list had a lot of shit, but all of Kanye's singles were included.

Rob Instigator 02.15.2017 12:31 PM

I read up on the way GRammy awards are given out.

any Recording Academy member (you must have been on a set # of recordings, or produced a set # of releases in a given time period to be eligible) can submit a list of songs/bands/albums for any respective category. This way, if you like Tejano and Classical music, you can nominate the acts you thought best for these respective genres. Everyone's votes are tabulated and then a top 15, based on total nominations, in each category is compiled. These ballots with 15 names/songs/albums per category are what are passed out to a specific set of "primo" Academy Members (the aforementioned super old, super rich, white dudes), allowing them to go hunt own a specific track or artist they may not have had a chance to listen to. These get voted on by them and then the top 5 in each category is voted upon by the Academy members at large.

This starts off well, even though it rides on lowest-common-denominator, but then is "filtered" if you will, through the musical mentalities of the "primo" old members, whose ears just cannot accept the genius of Future, or Young Thug, or the freaky electronic acts, etc.

Severian 02.16.2017 01:22 AM


Originally Posted by Rob Instigator
I read up on the way GRammy awards are given out.

the genius of Future

Ahhhhh haha. Hah. Ha.

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