if you could have any animal shrunk to pocket size what would it be?
 

an animal to put in your pocket and etc?

an alligator

1)dragon
2)elephant
3)tiger
4)falcon

A giraffe!

A penguin

if you could have any animal shrunk to pocket size what would it be?


I got a lion in my pocket and baby, he's ready 2 roar.

I'm so predictable.

The Adventures of Tiny Elvis

Tiny Elvis.....Nicholas Cage
Red.....Kevin Nealon
Sonny.....Rob Schneider
Driver.....Chris Farley



[ open on Tiny Elvis' mansion with Tiny E. and the boys in the living room ]




Tiny Elvis: Hey, Sonny, Red, you boys having a good time?

Red: Count on it, Tiny Elvis.

Sonny: Takin' care of business, Tiny E!

Tiny Elvis: Well, that's good man, that's real good. Hey, Sonny, Red! Look how big that lamp is, man! That's hu-u-uge!




Sonny: [ laughs ]

Red: That's right, E!

Tiny Elvis: Well, man, I don't know how I'd ever turn that thing off, man. That is enormous!

Sonny: That's right, Elvis, that's a big lamp! [ slaps his knee ]

Tiny Elvis: Sure is, man. That's a really big lamp!


Red: That's hilarious, Elvis!

Sonny: Yeah, Elvis, you're really funny!

Tiny Elvis: Hey, man.. look at that salt shaker, man. That is huge! Man, I'll never be able to use all that salt, man. That is way too much!

Red: Yeah, that's a big salt shaker, Elvis!

Tiny Elvis: Sure is huge, man.

Sonny: That's hilarious, Elvis!

Red: Score another one for the Tiny E!

Sonny: Man, we can't keep up with you!

Tiny Elvis: Well, I'm just saying it's a big salt shaker, that's all.

Red: [ laughing ] There he goes again! That's why he's the Tiny E.

Sonny: Hey, stand next to it. Come on, E, that'd be real cute!

Tiny Elvis: [ taking offense ] Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you saying, man?

Sonny: What's the matter, Tiny E?

Tiny Elvis: What, are you calling me "cute", man?

Sonny: I'm sorry, Tiny E..

Tiny Elvis: Hey, man, I'm not cute! I'm a blackbelt in karate! I got a good mind to climb up your shirt and give your lower a lip a roundhouse kick!

Sonny: I'm sorry. Sorry.

Tiny Elvis: Well, I could split your lip in 79 kicks, man!

Red: Well, he didn't mean anything by it, Tiny Elvis.

Tiny Elvis: Well, alright.. let's go for a ride.

Red: I'm with you, Elvis.

Sonny: Count me in, Tiny E.

Tiny Elvis: Well, tell Joe to bring the car around.

[ the scene shifts to the boys riding with Tiny Elvis in his car. Tiny Elvis stands atop the dashboard. ]

Tiny Elvis: Turn left here, man!

Driver: You're the man, Elvis.

Sonny: Good call, Tiny King.

Tiny Elvis: Hey, man! Look at that knob on that radio! Man, that is hu-u-uge!

[ the boys laugh ]

Sonny: Man, you're going tonight, Tiny E!

Tiny Elvis: Well, I'm just saying that's a big knob, that's all. Alright, it looks pretty dead out. Tiny E's gonna get some shuteye. [ curls up on the dashboard ]

Driver: You do that, Tiny E!

Sonny: Oh, look at him, Red. That's adorable!

Red: Yeah, he looks like a tiny mouse.

Driver: You know what would be really cute? If Elvis would lay his little head down on a miniature marshmallow.

Red: [ laughing ] Hey, put a little acorn on his head and use it for a helmet!

[ the boys laugh harder ]

Sonny: Man, he's so cute, he's like a buttercup!

[ the boys keep laughing, as Tiny Elvis wakes up ]

Tiny Elvis: Oh, what's that, man? What's this buttercup stuff, man?

Driver: Oh.. we're sorry, Elvis.. We thought you was asleep..

Tiny Elvis: [ outraged ] What, you doing that again?! Who's the buttercup, ME?!

Sonny: We're sorry, Elvis..

Tiny Elvis: Well, that's it! Out of the car, all of you!

[ the Driver slams on the brakes and they all exit the car ]

Driver: Alright.

Red: Good call.

Sonny: You're the King, Tiny E!

[ the scene shifts to Tiny Elvis kneeling against the dashboard, with one hand gripped to the steering wheel ]

Tiny Elvis: Oh, man! Look at this steering wheel! That is hu-u-uge!!

[ fade ]

A fuckin squirrel!!!

a cat, or an elephant.

surely that would be two squirels?

I've seen a few squirrels in the park, earlier. I'd have one of them because they're cheeky bastards.

They're actually pretty cool, I remember when I was a kid there was a park with loads of squirrels in it and they always came up to old men and let them feed them and crawl around their feet.

Friendly creatures, they are. But they're easily scared...

I'd have a white swan.
I've never seen a friendly squirrel, awesome little critters of nature though.

A platypus.

A cat. Probably a shorthair.. turtleshell coat perhaps..

I used to have some trousers with pockets large enough for my friends' ferrets to sit in (and ocassionally attempt to nibble my balls). As ferrets are my favourite animals, and they fit in some pockets, I have decided that I would like more trousers with large pockets.

When I was a small child I had a friend whose family bred ferrets, and he always had about 7 ferrets in a hutch at the bottom of his garden throughout the year. Nasty bastards, they just bite.

horsey

Horse ?
Me too. Horses are so nice. More pleasant than goats.
(I used to go horse riding)