yo.

Im trying to watch a documetary about Michael Watson but my internet keeps cutting out

my internet came back enough. Michael Watson is brilliant

^^^ I hope you mean your crotch, and not the band.

My condolences. Tell kliphy hi.

last night in and all odds are against me for tonight too. cold plus period pain.

after next week, i ll try to stop this indoors, painting, trying to thing. i mean, i ll try to go out more. will def go back to my yoga etc classes and will add one more friends' night in my week.

I went out last night and spent the evening with my emo friends. Been 18 is difficult.

worse than being 13-15 yrs old?

When you are 13 nobody asks you to set up a date for a married lady who, really, fancies another lady and not her drunken wreckage of a husband.

oh yeah, that crap.
but also imagine being 13 and living in your head, since thats what 13 yrs old mostly do and trying to understand what it is you are feeling for your best girl-friend, since it isnt only her friendship that you want and why the hell dont you like the cute boy who teases you all the time and what if what you are feeling is wrong, since everyone from the day you were born has been telling you that you have to like boys.

also one word for that lady: DIVORCE. please.

Totally. I think some people find it really hard to get out of that 13 year old boy/girl mindset well into their late 40s.

Also, I do love you. But you know that.

You kind of inspired me to start a thread to talk about some very complicated types of relationship. I just don't know if there would be much to say on here, maybe I''m wrong. Probably I'll just hit you up with a pm.

yeah in that case, it is sad.
in other cases, like being daydreamer, it isnt that bad.

we only live once, time passes by fast etc; why should one suffer in that department too blablabla.
but i dont know..do you think they fear the moment of coming out and making the change in their lives, or about what their life will be after it is changed? i think its the 2nd, the unknown. even if it means they might be happier. on the other hand, i cant believe how one can live in a lie. it is unbearable.

i love you too.
do both or whatever you prefer.

The coming out bit is proving too devastating a burden on a very close friend of mine's relationship. With no thanks for him for trying to make it work either.

I am fine myself.

kind of irrelevant*, but i am deeper in the war against the guilt syndrome.
i realised it last night. its not only just words 'im fighting guilts etc', i actually am doing it. by reflex, my mind changed its path about smth i was told yesterday. gave a kick to the guilts it created. but im telling you, its not always liberating.

*and vague and i dont have the need to say more about this here.

yeah that is always the risk.
but he felt better with himself, no? thats what counts.
if you are losing yourself, thats the worst feeling and state. you cant handle anything.

I have been friends with this person for a long time and he's one my best friends. He's very, very sophisticated in his thinking and often loose in his chit-chat when we meet. Because you have to let your guard off while you spend time with your friends, don't you? Still, he's been with a guy from a strong religious background for the past 2 years who's heavily controlled by his family, who depends a lot on him, down to running the family business. He came out to his sister as gay and she freaked out and gave him a CD that apparently is meant to cure his homosexuality. We often laugh about this but for the first time I noticed signs of stress on my mate's face last night. It's quite a mess in words and maybe it's gonna work out for the best but right now there are so many things my friend doesn't know or has control on it's difficult to tell where the whole story will lead to.

i cannot help but thinking, that in situations like this, when the one partner is in the closet, the other plays a role and has the task if s/he decides to, that is beyond the relationship. it has to do with the troubled person. its the role of the savior, in some ways and it is a lot to take in for both parts.
i am afraid that in the end, the one who is 'saved' cant be with his savior any longer. s/he has changed, might feel inferior (cant find better word now), might feel free to do things s/he couldnt before.
the worst-worst scenario is that the person in trouble, is using the other, without realizing. and that can be traumatizing as well, especially if its not perceived in a 'healthy' way, again by both parts.

thats just some thoughts i have, doesnt mean that this is the case.
and of course it all depends, on both parts characters and how strong they have built their relationship etc.

It's ok, murmur69, I too am an emo.faggot. I have a song written about me by weezer, for fuck's sake.

That's emo.faggot as fuck imo.

Snuggle now, you fuck.

People suck and fridays are often overrated.

im home on tuesday night

classic of me:
the plan is to stay in the weekend; a friend called to go to a dm party.
and i m down, so i ll go.

dm party.

i'd kill for that right now.

instead, i'll be going to an ELELMENTARY SCHOOL REUNION (yes, for real).
i'm going to get horribly drunk, i'm afraid.

is it a first time reunion? i mean, have you seen those people since then?
i hope you ll have good times..might happen, you know.


i dunno what to wear.
i think i ll do my 99% cowboy look. have only done it 1 or 2 times.

i've been laughing at this uncontrollably for a while now.

but why do you go?

i will go, in about 15 minutes.

i dunno, all of my ex-schoolmates from elementary schools have searched each other on facebook and someone came up with the idea of a reunion evening in a bar.

it might be a good idea, after all. i've been so bored for the past few days anyway (i'm out of Bratislava in my tiny hometown and there's not much to do here), that even this sounds like a promising plan.

cowboy look, but topless.

trust me, it will work.

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....

it all makes sense now i suppose. have fun and yeah-- you're definitely gonna get drunk

Friday party is NOT here. I'm just gonna spend the night watching super old films and maybe drinking.

Good evening, Friday night dwellers. Im watching this, howsabout you?

I have had a bunch of uppers tonight and all my pals have just gone home. i am now out of weed and i dont know what to do. porn seems dangerous

shit. is it friday?

I did get shitfaced indeed.
God, so much fun! I haven't laughed that hard for a long time.

really? thats nice.
dm party was an absolute crap.
the main dj was the worst dj i have ever witnessed.
he had a very bad vibe as a person and he was mixing the songs..like mainstream club music. you are doing it very wrong, idiot!
also, once again not a single attractive person in the crowd.

That is why I don't fox with DJs yo. Strictly stage show or go home..

I don't want no Ice Cream sound cuz its too soft for me..

not me, I'm outta here...