Have you ever been lost in life? I am
 

So I graduated college last June with a bachelor's in history and I've been looking for jobs. I'm a substitute teacher but no districts are hiring. I've tried finding research or writing jobs but no luck. I've lost my shitty warehouse job and am unemployed so I've had to move back in with my parents. On top of that most of my friends have moved away, I only have one really close one.

I just feel lost. I don't wanna work for the rest of my life. It's a depressing thought to me; having a career, and a family, day in day out, wasted. I dunno why. I just wish I could leave, I'm tired of Southern CAli. I have no desire for anything material anymore. Have you guys ever felt lost in life? Maybe some older posters can share their experiences.

I don't know what you mean by lack of desire for "anything material"-- air, food, water, shelter, clothing and a nice clean bed are always a plus in my book, especially when I'm feeling crummy. They are very material. Human flesh to press against is also material, and very very nice.

Just hang in there man, endure, and try to make some changes. It will take time but you have to. It's a shitty economy, your degree is shit, and there is no demand for what you supply where you are--California, very high unemployment. So right there you gotta change something-- what you supply or where you supply it. You could also wait until California changes but that's too passive for my taste. The laws of economics are as real as the weather-- it's best not to ignore them.

I could tell you some things but somebody else could tell it better-- read "A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich". That little fucker was tough as nails and can teach everybody a few things.

Endure! Give depression the finger! But also, while you deal with things, remember:



So yeah, watch who is around you and what effect they might have on you, how they treat you, etc.

Anyway don't believe the religious bullshit about the uselessness of material things. You are a body, which is a material thing. Mind your matter. I've always felt great after a nice meal, a good fuck, and a hot shower-- who wouldn't? The point is that you need to take care of yourself as a material being-- don't believe the hype, and also don't believe that the world owes you anything-- you get back what you put in, economics requires that you serve a need-- a material need-- so that your material needs are taken care of in return. It's a market. This thing about "I don't wanna work" is a load of pussy talk. Don't go down that rabbit hole or you'll get lost (I did, a long time ago). Being broke is shit but being broken is worse. Don't let the fuckers break you.

Your (supposedly) shitty warehouse job lost-- you're collecting unemployment, yes? Cuz you've been paying into it all these years and you have a right to collect. Apply for your checks. Get some money in your pocket. Say "fuck you" to death, punch it in the nuts and start scoring small victories until they add up to big ones. You'll feel better as soon as you start-- which is why I recommended that Solzhenitsyn book. If he could turn a shit day in a Siberian concentration camp into a win then maybe we can score a win in Culifornia, Nueva York, Alaska, Detroit, or whatever other place.

--

PS- why don'y you get yourself a churro cart man. if that's one of your interests in life, you could beat everyone else at it. fuck "research" and "writing"-- give the people what they want-- churros! (or something equally tasty). market economy. use it in your favor.

i recommend enjoying and creating some music and movies. sounds silly but write some tunes and go to some auditions, it's worked for people before

it's not very constructive maybe, but going out and enjoying a party or something is always a good idea, everybody needs a reminder here and there that life can actually be enjoyable


also i think !@#$% is maybe taking the idea of not wanting material things a bit far, i didn't interpret it as sonikjesus wanting to forgo all material including his own flesh. rather simply as not wanting to devote his entire life to a career that gets him things he doesn't really want (and that is how many americans live, and it is pretty pointless and depressing) 'keeping up with the joneses' it's called

actually i hate to say this but it's 2012 so i guess i should start calling it keeping up with the kardashians

It's not that I don't wanna work for being lazy. It's that it gets me down. Like, "this is all people do, just work for a paycheck, go home, and do it again." So fucked up.

I meant material things like physical objects I can buy. I have been writing songs a lot now though cause i'm unemployed. They just keep coming. And it feels good cause when I used to work I have these great ideas (to me) and I'll make a note on my phone or I'll just forget but by the time I get home I'm too tired to get t it. I don't know, I guess capitalism and my realization of what it really is as a societal system has got me down.

see? you're being depressive and yet there's so many possibilities around you and you just don't realize.

tell you what. i live in a small Eastern European country, now a member of European union since 2005. We get by and the economy is developing, however the global crisis hasn't avoided us either and there is very high unemployment rate etc etc.
What i wanted to say though, is that in my position, i can't really choose. Over here, you either work your ass off and become a part of the so-called management or you're stuck with some desperate low-paid job and you have serious problems making ends meet. I chose the first option, i work hard and am under constant pressure (i work in marketing) but I get paid well, am able to pay all the bills and mortgage all by myself and have enough cash to afford things I like.
BUT! When I was in the US (or UK, for that matter), the people I worked with there (for example on a gas station in Baltimore, MD) kept telling me they don't need to make any kind of 'career', because they simply get by with doing a simple less qualified job, they pay their bills and they lead a stress-free live and can take care about the things they really want to care about.
If there was a possibility like that over here, i'd gladly forget about my 'career', become a cashier in a supermarket or a carpenter or whatever and focus on my music, focus on people around me and get rid of all the pressure.
You know what i'm trying to say?

Why don't you just get your shitty warehouse job back and start writing songs of your own? Why do you have to put so much on your shoulders? I'm not encouraging you to be a lazy-ass slacker, I just want you to choose a path you'd enjoy.

^ wow. Actual advice. I was actually expecting some snide remark. But...nope. Very insightful.

i can understand your feelings
also the advice people give you

me, not lost like that
just simpefly it as a young person

Doesn't sound very inviting (constant pressure ...). Different situation 50 km westwards, for sure, not to the same extent ... Hope you still find time to rest.

i'm not taking it far at all. in my world, which is that of an independent adult, "no work" means no money, which means no house, no food, no heating or electricity, which is a shit way to die.

the entire life/ career/ kardashians thing is a different story, icing on a cake, if there is one. you gotta be able to survive before you think about breast implants (ha). but seriously.

look @ maslow's hierarchy of needs:



there is a lot of valid criticism about how that hierarchy was constructed. but basically what it signals is that it's hard to paint landscapes or record music when you've had no sleep because the rats were biting you all night.

garcia marquez said somewhere that the starving artist myth was bullshit, and that you write better after a good meal, in an air-conditioned room, on an electric typewriter (the "computer" of his day).

anyway, more on that here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

and yeah, it's not a perfect model of course, but it reminds you of some basic facts of nature.

there are few feelings so great as waking up in the morning to finding a fridge stocked with tasty breakfast foods, and i'm very grateful for that every day. of course you can only appreciate this when you've been without and you can tell the difference.

this morning i had hot oatmeal with cocoa and maple syrup and toasted almonds, and fresh coffee, and an orange. it was delicious. nothing like starting the day with a small victory over cold and hunger and destitution, it makes all the battles of the day ahead much more winnable.

i had a nice lunch too but i think i made my point with breakfast.

once you're alive and breathing you have a lot more choices in life. you definitely don't have to follow everybody else's path. but like GGM said, it's a lot easier with a full stomach.

I don't think being creative is going to help this guy. He needs to get over himself and face things like a man.

this world isn't downton abbey--women have to work too!

I was brought up in a strongly matriarchal household.

say it, then-- face things like a woman!

grow some ovaries, bitch!

:D

--

what im trying to say is that this isn't a gender or machismo issue.

you, probably, since you came up with the idea?

also, transgenders. the ones i know work their butts off.

oh i see. sounds unpleasant.

the transgender thing wasn't a joke btw. i know this transgender couple. he was a she and she was a he and they are both very smart & really good at their professions, balls/no balls notwithstanding.

^ Buahaha




Yep. Thanks to my family, I learned work is a tool to find meaning in life. You make it seem like you're only collecting a pay check, but I think it's more than that. I mean....work is just another community in which you involve yourself in living everyday. Just keep an eye out. I've had a warehouse job for basically my whole life. It's not that bad...in fact I like to do it, but not for the rest of my life. I eventually would like to move to an area where jobs are more stable.
but yeah...basically listen to Asskiss. Just find ajob.

one is a scientist and the other is an engineer, both highly qualified people. why?

damn my left click is danged but i am bored to reload the pc now.

ah yeah, what i wanted to say is that this thread is my thread but have no energy to elaborate.
anyhoo, minus the 'lost in life'. its more like 'seeing clearly'.

also many thanks: as from tonight i will never ever mention about my mega testicles. ever. never.

This is exactly it right here. Seems like what everyone around the midwest is doing.. Slowing droppng out...

Petty gender squabbles aside, you forget that ''face things like a man'' is an expression also used by some women when talking to certain men.

I totally agree with you porky. I say that to Julian all the time. Money is tight, we have two kids to feed, and often all he wants to do is playing videogames all day.

Thanks guys. Yr helpin a lot. And just to clarify, I know and appreciate the value of hard work. I worked all through college and past until about a month ago and I grew up in a poor humble Mexican family. I'm just saying I can't really see myself doing any job without being miserable. Maybe I'm fed up. I'm half hoping it's just a phase and that I'll eventually straighten out or something but then that seems so sad to the person I am now. And the person I am now would hate that. It's weird. Like if I have a normal life with a normal job I'll be miserable but If I am the way I am now I'll still be fucked up. Man. Sorry if I sound downerish just realizing that now reading my posts but whatever. But yeah thanks guys.

Sounds to me like you're depressed. Think about it. You grow up in a "humble Mexican family" and your family saves money sends you to college with the illusion that after 4 or 5 years or whatever you'll be ready to make the family proud and have a good job and buy your mom a house some day.

Except that now you graduate in the middle of a nasty recession so not only do you have to keep your old student job but you also lose it and move back in with your parents. Ouch.

Now you have to wake up every morning and look at your parents in the face while maybe all of you are thinking that all those sacrifices for your studies were for nothing and you would have been better off working landscaping. Ouch!

And maybe your parents are nice and supportive and tell you to hang in there, you'll be okay, but maybe they are finger-pointing and impatient with you. But regardless, sounds to me like YOU could be beating yourself up and making yourself depressed. Because that's how it happens.

Now depression has nothing to do with the penis or being macho or testicles. War vets get depressed. Old grandmas get depressed. Horny teenagers get depressed. Post-partum mothers get depressed. Kurdt got depressed, the poor junkie. Winston Churchill got depressed--a lot. So do college graduates with no jobs.

Of course people telling you that you're not being "a man" for being depressed is gonna make you feel worse if you believe them-- now you're not just an unemployed college graduate with no prospects but also unmanly. Fuck me, I'd wanna kill myself too.

But anyway, those people are wrong, lol.

You have a bunch of problems at the moment but the way to deal is not to beat yourself up or question your manhood or your honor or whatever the shit. Getting depressed when everything goes to shit is more or less natural, and going through phases of destruction is normal and part of growing up. Think of it as an animal going into hibernation when their environment runs out of resources. Cuz right now you look around and there is nothing and the response is to shut down the store. It's a kind of normal energy-saving reaction.

And maybe what people are clumsily trying to say with "be a man" is "grow up and deal," and with that I have to agree. (And I know I said "that's pussy talk"-- sorry about that). But yeah it's hard to grow up--cuz it's horrible and sad to lose our grandiose teenage dreams of being rich and famous with your band and realize that all you have to look forward if you are lucky is a 9 to 5 and cable TV and credit card debts and crummy neighbors.

But the thing is that there is a lot more than that, even for those of us who aren't rich and famous and in bands and married to supermodels. (Or maybe you thought you were gonna be a professor with your tweed jacket and tenure for life, teaching courses about Sonic Youth.) There is a lot worth living for, besides those things, and I don't wanna get into it cuz it might sound like a lot of blah blah right now, but the point is, yeah, have a funeral for your teenage dreams, it's okay to give up the skateboard and the superhero comics and weed for breakfast; welcome to the trenches with the rest of us, where you have to work for everything and wishful thinking doesn't count-- and it can be a lot of fun, but you have to get used to your new life first.

Anyway, a few suggestions on how to deal, I suppose.

First of all, stop worrying about what you "will be". The future is impossible to predict, so stop worrying about it, stop beating yourself up about it: you'll just get exhausted making predictions and calculations from your depressed perspective where all looks bleak. Tomorrow or next month or next year you'll feel different about things, but more importantly, you'll see there are lots more options than "being normal".

Second, take care of yourself NOW. Maybe you need to go on a trip or camping or something (when is the last time you had a fucking vacation?) Maybe you don't actually have the money for a vacation now (that's why you need to save next time you get a paycheck instead of spending it all on weed, lol). So see if you can get unemployment checks-- it's a good way to keep going. I know a girl who bought an apartment in New York while on unemployment--oh yeah, and paid it off 5 years later. Unemployment isn't welfare, it's a kind of insurance. Yes, they ask you to look for a job, but you can do other things besides that, like go away for the fucking weekend.

Anyway after you get some rest and stop feeling sorry for yourself (eventually feeling sorry for yourself becomes funny, you'll see), you'll need to start looking for a new job that's not a mind killer, college boy. Something you might actually enjoy. There are jobs like that, you just can't see them right now.

How to do that, maybe I'll discuss another time, but I gotta go make breakfast & go to work now.

But yeah, first thing to do is stop beating yourself up, and stop worrying about "teh future" or questioning your manhood. Take care of yourself TODAY. Like, right this second. Go exercise, and shower, and put some clean clothes, and eat something decent, and stay away from daytime TV.

lol, you still play SIMS!!

What the fuck.is.wrong with vidyagames,

O, u guys!!!!

7 months ago i left israel and moved back in with my parents and it has been a very important period in my life. i was doing a masters degree in israel and was very unfulfilled with it and was feeling very lost. i think that an extended period of time with my family, without external pressures was very beneficial for me to pursue my own interests and expand my horizons. it has helped me focus a bit on a direction and on understanding what it is i really want to get out of life, at least for the next while.
so as of the fall i will be studying carpentry, with an emphasis on construction. i have no experience in it and am quite nervous about it, but i am also very excited.

my point is that maybe you should embrace this period of being back with the family. get a part time job and spend your time reading or playing music and thinking with yourself find out what it is that really interests you.

and fuck all of that gendernormativity! we are all our own selves with our own needs, feelings and desires.

http://crimethinc.com/tools/posters/...sion_front.pdf

Hail.

Being a man isn't about being a 'man', it's about being a person. If, subsequent to being a person, you decide to be a man, that's great. But mostly it's about being, y'know, a person. And finding other people to be persons with.

There isn't, sadly, a script for 'being alright'. Advice about surroundings is important, and also tricky. But yeah. Small changes are more important than big ones. The big ones comes in time.

I've always been incredible, which is why my advice is always oodles better.

i got lost in ikea once, horrible experience.

If you have nothing to live for outside of work then yes, that scenario is true. If youve nothing to live for outside of work, then having a job isnt gonna make any difference to your quality of life anyway, You'll just havea shit life with money to waste, and thats the seeds of drug addiction, kids.


Kidding aside, Einstein was a bank clerk, just because youre not going to write The Great Gatsby or A Kind of Blue, or even get a half-baked rambling story published in a literary supplement or release a CDr on a tiny record label, doesnt mean your contribution is worthless.

The old saying is "dont try to be a great man, just try to be a man", and whilst I always have problems with these kind of Little-Book-Of-Calm sayings, there is a point in there. The way your economic situation might be at the moment, you might have a straight choice between scratching an existence and a quick, early death through total self destruction.

Having a shit, dull job doesnt make you a shit, dull person.

I might or might not graduate in a couple of months and I haven't a fucking clue what I'm supposed to do after that.

one thing that depresses me is when i am a coward*.
when i see it in other people, i m not that harsh, but some aspects of being coward can make me be disappointed in someone.


* will be using the word as it is; i wont use never again not even the 'chicken' poo slang for it.

Just follow the arrows nitwit.

Clinical studies have shown that following glice's advice has been proven to increase girth and heft tri-fold.

Glice, being a person is so over rated.

That's what your Mum said as she was limply wiping my brown love from her under-nose.