who will cut our hair when we're gone?
 

?

good question

my bets are on chuck norris. bastard knows how to use scissors. (mostly on your mom.)

chuck norris? that puppy purrs to me. he sits cross legged on my floor making gillter pictures saying "I WUV YOU".

ooh, kinky.

yeah, his nubbin is huge. i like a man around the house who knows how to kill hit squads of international terrorists with a plastic spork. also his poetry is really sweet.

my friend's mom's cousin's friend's nephew was friends with robin hood (he was a real person) and said that he could kill an entire japanese ninja swat team dressed in silver lame hotpants with just one flick of a plastic spoon and some glitter.

chuck's one poem about leaves in autumn that was like, fucking longer than all three lord of the rings books combined is actually really beautiful once it's about fifty pages in.

fifty pages in... is that the bit about the ape rape?

yeah, and the anal leakage stuff and how it smelled like fauna.

Did he not come out in the old planet of the apes?

nope

Oh but he looks familiar with that guy who comes out in the simpsons, who marries Selma or Patty one of them, Troy McClure.

oh yeah. he also looks a lot like mr t, but more black.

I need pictures, I can't see the connection, I'll be back going to the liqour store to buy junk food.