Great Popular Music Follies.
 

Those moments/things/ideas in popular music that thankfully never lasted or, regretably still continue in one form or another. Either way they're crap.

Exhibit A: The 'keyboard/guitar'

As seen here played by Jazzie B in Soul II Soul

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CSQdLxpZXR4

Exhibit B: The Headless Bass.

As seen being played by the reassuringly rubbish Mark - Kung Fu Slippers - King






Exhibit C: Headbands

They looked crap on John McEnroe. They looked even worse in Rock music. As seen here on Dire Straits' 'axe man' Mark Knopfler.

Wolf Eyes.

...oh wait, they're still around.. fuck...

The one armed drummer.

Thankfully, this stupid idea ended with Def - Hysteria is actually Brilliant - Leppard.

Political Correctness is one thing. This is something else. This is crap.




Songs by Europeans/Amreicans about the Third World.

Thanks to U2, Coldplay and Radiohead, this horrible concept continues.

This boy is sad because he can't afford a ticket to see Coldplay.



Frontmen who play the odd bit of guitar on stage. They look awkward and, as such, should never do it. Ever.

Being rich beyond belief, but acting like you're the bloke next door. Which unless the house next door to yours is a big fuck-off mansion, is just bollocks, basically.










The Thrash Metal Drumkit.

As if to distance itself from earlier forms of metal, Thrash drummers did their best to construct kits that would make Def Leppard's job impossible.

Lars - more toms please - Ulrich shows off.







The 'faded' Metal T shirt.

People buy them to make others think that they've always been into metal. People don't actually think that at all. They actually think, what a twat.

Bands that carry on despite the fact that their most interesting/sexy member has jumped ship.





The 'ironic' duet




Jarvis Cocker. Has single handedly made it possible for 18 year old Woody Allen lookalikes to get gorgeous girlfriends.

ha amzing thread i cant think of any though

Live Whatever exploitation concerts.

this thread's hilarious...

anyway.. i vote for drummer-written songs. anyone ever heard "beth" by kiss? ugh..

The handless microphone.

Thank Janet Jackson for popularising this. Not only did it make every popstar wearing one look like a switchboard operator, it encouraged intricate dancing whilst singing. Thus we were given New Kids on the Block.







Crowd Surfing.

This stupid practice continues solely so that virgin Slint fans can occasionally cop a feel.








Any album cover from the '80s, featuring a band that were big in the 60s.

The myth that acting like a spastic on stage means you've got soul. It doesn't. It means you're a spastic.







The 'hidden' album track. it serves only three purposes.

1) to fuck up my itunes 'shuffle'.

2) to make short albums seem longer.

3) to give you a heart attack approximately 25 minutes after you thought the album had finished.





The 'were so fuckin' Indie we don't even do encores' crock of shit.

Everyone knows that bands have encores so that people can politely leave early, without having to say that they 'walked out'.

Dual guitar posing with each guitarist's back to the other.

Actually, guitar posing just sucks in general.

Aha yes, the old twin guitar Alamo pose.

Bassists acting like complete goofs, instead of just playing.

you mean?

The complete inability for any black musician to say anything even remotely negative about Aretha Franklin.

Mention in passing that you think she might not quite be hitting the high notes of late and it's like you want to bring back slavery or something.

The sonic youth t-shirt

The whole 'unplugged' phenomenon.

Giving someone an acoustic guitar does not necessarily turn them into Robert Johnson.

Or... does it?

That one is overrated.

Hahah. Yeah. YOu know they've never heard of the bands, let alone heard the music. That Drew Barrymore is a major victim to this. She goes out with a dude from the Strokes so we starts wearing all denim and faded band shirts such as the Stones etc. Fake.