i dont agree.
i do believe that a % of people that stayed in the marriage for the kids might have worked for the best of the kids and yes, that might have been admirable.

however, i dont find anything admirable at being untrue to oneself.

i know many many cases of people who have stayed in the marriage and it has been for selfish financial reasons, some of which have made focus of their lives their kids and are ok with it (maybe), others who stayed for the kids, but had relationships on the side (double lives) and many many others of previous generations, who sacrificed themselves and stayed in the marriage again for financial reasons and because they were afraid of society.
thats common knowledge and not untight (why you said that i dont understand) feminist view.

and kids know. can tell. they arent idiots.

i ve said things in my previous posts about marriage. and we cant all agree and i m tired to type more things on the issue, that are like stating the obvious.

Exactly like I fucking said, fucking selfish. What, children aren't important? Its funny how immature our generation is. We deserve all the fucking shit we get, we are lazy, selfish, and have a false sense of entitlement. The world doesn't owe us anything. Life is work. You get what you give. If you give up on your kids for yourself, what do you gain? Yourself? Possibly. But what do your kids get??

sorry, you dont know any people who have children for selfish reasons?

or people who get married and have kids, because they want that status?

Congratulations on your new found happiness

getting out of the marriage was more selfless than continuing on. It would have been so much easier to just expose my children to a daily barrage of fighting and despair than to have the guts to make such a leap of faith. My husband sucked every bit of attention I had to give out of me leaving nothing left for the kids. My kids are happier now than I have seen them in years. They appreciate the attention & love they are now given. They deserve it more than he does. They always had a "dad" but not much of a father. They lost their mother to their dad, depression and drugs. They may never have a "father" I cannot control his personality or choices, but I will guarantee that they have the mother and stability they need to thrive.

The effort of both parents to hold a marriage together is imperative. One person cannot hold both roles and end up caring for their partner on a level more so than the children. I worked for 17 years on this relationship and after I realized that I could try my hardest but could not raise a grown man who was supposed to be the cornerstone of the family.

Excellent news! Happy to hear you are doing fine.

themfriends, you are sure coming off as being judgmental, seeing as you do not have any kids, or prior experience being married...that I know of.

a BAD marriage is never GOOD for kids.

settle for nothing less than the best life possible, younglings; otherwise, you might regret it.

and if you see your mom this weekend, be sure to tell her SATAN, SATAN, SATAN.

oh deeeeaaaarrr!! your kid?
may i save that pic for drawing/painting?

bravo, ma'am. i've never read saner words from you. you stick to that!


damn, you're on a roll!

ed should be the king of SYG!! what am i talking about... THE KING OF THE WORLD! THE UNIVERSE!

SonicGail, I' speaking more in generalities then your specific situation, you stuck it out for almost 2 decades, that is damn sight more than most folks. However, ontologically, it was still in part selfish for you to back out. In theory, you could have still gotten clean on your own, and then worked on that aspect of your marriage. I applaud your courage to move on, and I sincerely pray it for the best for you, but marriage is something different. So many people walk away from their marriages because they aren't "perfect" but what marriage ever was?? In your instance, this seems for the best, but lets not pretend it won't have negative consequences, because inevitably it will. They are unavoidable in divorce...

...

Fuck y'all. You don't know my real life, I don't broadcast my private family business here for you fucking callous trolls. Fuck it, me and Gail spoke in private, she knows where I'm at, as to the rest of you haters, go ahead and keep hating. If that makes your lives better its the least I can do to oblige ;)

we're all trapped in a realm of sex and death, blind genetic replicators trying to cancel themselves out using our bodies as their puppets - judgement or condemnation will not suffice to bring anybody clarity. the bacterial ooze that we are descended from has no knowledge of morality. let us rejoice in the pursuit of extinction, for it is the only respite for we the diseased and broken toys known as homo sapiens.

I would be honored and would love to see it! this is the face that he tends to make when he's drumming, or say, plotting destruction. so metal.


this wouldn't be the first time that has been discussed. what with the throngs of strangers who feel somehow compelled to touch and adulate him, his mother is quite certain that he's messianic. whenever I suggest that mayhaps he's something else entirely, I draw her scornful ire. he's some kind of angel, for certain.

agh. dat mug :D

no other word would describe this expression better! :)

You seem to be an intelligent dude who puts a lot of effort into what he's posting on here, but sometimes i wonder what's going on in your head.

I come from a highly dysfunctional but "intact" family. The only divorce has been that of my father and mother (not counting my fathers other 3 divorces). It's weird, although my mother is still really heartbroke that my father left her, it was for the best. I mean, he went on to marry the daughter of Gaston Glock, became gun lobbyist and died from a heart-attack when he was a 55 years old alcoholic. He was a horrible person before divorce too.
My grandparents (both sides) were married for about 60 years and had unbelievably dispassionate relationships (ok, also they were nazis, with the males fighting for Third Reich in Russia and Poland).
Guess what, every single child out these two marriages is seriously fucked up one way or another: one aunt being a schizophrenic who isn't able to live on her own, one aunt being a catholic saint zombie, a rich uncle who lives in a fucking castle and won't talk to anyone from the family because he's afraid his rich friends will find out he's from a poor farmers family, my mother being depressed all the time living with a man now for 10 years that she doesn't even remotely like... And their kids (coming from intact marriages, with me and my siblings being the exception) are fucked up beyond belief too (with me and my siblings not being exception).

Maybe this an extreme case, i don't really know, but tons of my friends come from similar families.
And some have divorced parents who managed to do a great job with raising their kids.
Some married couples are doing a great job with their kids.

Ultimately, why the hell do you believe that marriage is the important factor for love, respect and the way to raise kids?


valie export




Sonic Gail,
glad to hear you're doing good!

Like all god botherers, suchfriends' views are part his (the sensible parts) and part his religion's (the mental as fuck parts).