Interview with the Masturbate-a-Thon 2009 Champion
 

I found this on RateYourMusic's Off-Topic board, but... there is no way I couldn't steal something as outland-ish as this and spread it like the plague. Just read it.

Well, it's been a week since Masanobu Sato blew away his own masturbating world record at the 9th Annual Masturbate-a-thon, held by the Center for Sex & Culture last Saturday. This guy was a pro, bringing an arsenal of masturbating aids from the Japanese sex product company he works for.

Last year he set the record with 9 hours and 33 minutes, but this time he held on til 9 hours and 58 minutes. He's now back in Japan and exhausted, but was nice enough to answer some of our questions about his victory by e-mail. Behold the master.

The Snitch: What was the secret to you going for nearly 10 hours?

Sato: "My abundant imagination was a key to my triumph firstly. Secondly, I trained a lot in Japan from the time I won the 1st prize last year. I swam twice a week, and gained about 5 kgs in muscle.That helped me a lot, too in terms of stamina. Thirdly, the variety of sensations each TENGA gave me was ideal for long masturbation. Without those variety sensations, my dick would feel the same sensation for a long time, which would paralyze my dick in the end. I use as many as 10 different TENGAs so that my dick avoids being paralyzed."


Was there any point you felt you couldn't go on? How did you get through those moments?

"Yes. Twice I felt I couldn't go on. I took great advantage of Japanese pornos as I prepared. Also I imagined many supporters in Japan including my girlfriend, family, co-workers etc...that I can't let them down."

Were you exhausted afterward?

"Definitely. I was so exhausted that I couldn't get up on time next day when I was supposed to go to airport to go back to Japan. Luckily, I didn't miss the flight though."
Did you ever have an orgasm?

"Yes. I've come once in a halfway round. I continued masturbating without taking any rest or becoming flaccid then."

Could you have gone longer?

"This time, that was my limit actually. I hope I can go over 10 hours or longer next time I challenge."

You're now going to the world competition in Copenhagen? When is that?

"I thought I would go to Copenhagen, but now I'm not sure about it as it's a bit too much to do marathon twice a month. I think it's a good idea to compete with the champions of other countries, like Copenhagen, London, Portland at San Francisco."

What does your family think of this achievement? Are they aware you are the world masturbating champion?

"Of course they know about the fact. They feel proud of me since last year's my victory, I think. They were really glad and happy to hear when I reported them I could defend championship and what's more I could blow away my own world record by 25 minutes. I'm very happy that my family understands me well. Ordinary families in Japan don't do so. I wonder how US families are like...."

Isn't that dangerous? Because apparently if you have an erection for more than 4 hours (due to priapism or whatever) you should seek urgent medical attention.

i said it before and i'll say it again: people are stupid.

funny how his family is proud though.

Ha ha ha ha, the Masturbate-a-Thon 2009 Champion has a girlfriend.

As though your garden variety masturbator needed to feel even more like a loser.

Will this be in the next Guinness Book of World Records (with the pages stuck together)?

"Thon" means Tuna in french. I can say I'd find a Masturbate-a-Tuna competition much funnier.

haha, fox.

gawd. those last 20 minutes between his previous record and this one, must have been nerve wracking.

it's good to hear that his dick wasn't paralyzed. his kung fu must be strong.

anyways....see you in 10. I'm off to call Guinness. I'm plan to make Mr. Sato cry.

...wat?