This blog entry on their myspace made me chuckle:
Naming the Tour
After long deliberation amongst myself, I am seriously leaning toward dubbing our trip to the UK ''FUCK BORIS 2007''. With the recent releases of Vein, Altar and this week's spit take-inducing Rainbow lp, Boris have ascended from the underground right up their own asses. Having lived and loved in Japan for as long as I have, I can tell you from experience that making your way up a Japanese ass takes a lot of work. So congratulations, Boris! Not only have you successfully mocked everything the underground stands for, but you've done so in the midst of celebrating 9 years without releasing a record anywhere near as good as Amp Worship. Well done!
What Boris and all the other limited edition cocktease bands/labels don't seem to realize is that instantly collectable records are fakes. The reason old, obscure records are so fucking cool is that they are actually old
released in limited runs out of necessity -- the bands and their labels couldn't justify printing more -- and out of the desire to put out something they believed in, not something they believed would create foggy myths whispered reverently around a faintly glowing laptop as some Jew-fro sporting virgin melts down his Visa in order to buy a goddamn Sunn record. Real bands don't attempt to make their records holy grails. They don't promote them using self-fulfilling prophecies that centre on carefully timed internet pre-orders. They just make records and sell them.
But not Boris. Boris exists not to sell music, but to sell Atsuo's art and raise the profile of his design work. Boris songs have, since about the time of Flood, become completely secondary to the band's packaging and t-shirts; a fact noticable in both the increasing extravagence of Boris items and the decreased quality of their music.*
And yet people keep buying it. Teddy Jesus Nugent Christ.
The thing that got me worked up enough to write this dung-y mess is Boris' upcoming split 10'' with Stupid Babies Go Mad, who are perhaps the shittiest of all the Motorhead rip-off bands currently stinking up Tokyo. In his never-ending quest to rip-off the artwork of every band that existed before 1984, Atsuo has chosen this time to molest the cover of Damaged. Yes, fucking Black Flag. Whether a cynical joke at the expense of drooling, history-less dicktards or a clumsy, naive homage to a band who actually understood what being a band is about, the taste in my mouth remains the same. Fuck you X infinity, Boris.
Fuck you X infinity plus one.
FUCK BORIS 2007 UK TOUR
dates coming soon.
V e e e D e e e
* Granted, the packaging for Akuma No Uta wasn't anything to kill your mother for, but the songs were even worse, so...