Town characters
 

My town has a few characters of note:

The Rat:
Vietnam Vet homeless alcoholic. Known for his disheveled appearance, he used to live under the bridge, but he left because kids kept bothering him to buy them alcohol. He can be seen riding a bicycle through town.

Jason:
A younger homeless alcoholic. He was my neighbor's ex-bf. He camps out in a tent and has been to jail twice, once for camping on private property, and the 2nd time for not doing something important that he was supposed to do. He was brain damaged after being beat up by some hick in a bar, and speaks in a mexican accent when he gets drunk. He comes to establishments making weird jokes (his favorite is "Q: what kind of wood doesn't float? A: Natalie), as well as telling you that he speaks the truth, and proclaiming that he can contact people with his mind via dreams- but says he won't share his secret of how.

The Walking Man:
This guy is normal. He walks down 8 miles down route 19 from zelie to cranberry, then comes back to zelie everyday. Or he did, he had a heart thing and went to the hospital, but resumed, but he could be unable to do it now.

Mr. Marburger:
Mr. Marburger is an older mentally handicapped insomniac. He has a dayjob, a wife that is also mentally handicapped, and children. He is known for wondering the streets of Zelienople late at night wearing a jumpsuit and picking up garbage. He actually gets paid by the local grocery store for keeping their parking lot clean, even though he did it on a voluntary basis beforehand.

crazy joyce: she is an elderly lady who lives right by the harbour in a house that is literally falling down. known for riding her bicycle through down and shouting unprovoked obscenities at passers by. also remembered for parading her late husband's corpse through the crowded high street one saturday afternoon in a wheelbarrow to the social security office, to prove that he was dead and that she didn't just fabricate the idea of his death for benefit purposes.

jimmy the sock: he is an elderly man who, for the last 30 years, has loitered in public places starting seemingly harmless small talk with young children, before asking them about their socks. questions include: "what colour/style/brand socks are you wearing?" "what is your favourite colour/style/brand of socks?" "where did you buy your socks?" "what socks does your favourite sports team wear in their strip?" "do you want to see my socks" and so on... he questioned my mother about her socks when she was about 10, and questioned me when i was also around that age...

Tony Beep-Beep: Young man, most likely mentally ill, who stands at traffic lights and asks people to honk/beep their horns for him.

Purple Aki: Notorious paedophile known only as purple aki, was recently fined because he keeps going up to people and asking to touch their muscles. He is BANNED from local towns Widnes and Warrington.

haha. this is so weird you talk about z town. i met mr. marburger once. weird dude indeed....

I've never talked to Mr. Marburger beyond saying "hi" in passing. I think he grunted in reply.

In the burgh near Pitt there is this guy:

 

I witnessed him do the "pee down the inseem" trick in public.

Man, the women seem to love you spectral. They even pose in pictures you're not even taking of them

Rollerblader guy - Seen all around Ottawa and Gatineau just...rollerblading. All day. He's always topless, has a waterbottle strapped to his back, about 50 years old, helmet, discman, and torn jeans. Sometimes you would be going out, see him rollerblading by place du portage, then by the time you're in ottawa, he has somehow managed to be downtown. I see him multiple times a week, he goes by the bus shelters a lot and everybody's seen him

Bicycle Ancient : an old white-bearded man with a cap on. He's not a drinker, has his schedule. I find him quite impressive for he hasn't fallen down that much (he is extremely organized, and his bike ain't a bad one). Always seems to mutely judge people.

There's a younger guy, in his early thirties, whose tan gets stronger and stronger. His face seems burned. He gets drunk. His silhouette has changed in the past months. His gait became unsteady, one of his shoulder looks as if weighing a ton for him to move on. A polite shy chap. Once daydreamed looking at my very old raincoat.

On a lighter note, there's a Singing Lady.
Blood rose to her face and stayed there feeling good on her ever smiling face. Her stout body seems to be composed of different big fleshy elements put on top of one another (tits and ass, parted by a round belly). She's extremely gay and sings out loud wherever she goes. You hear her before you see her. Mostly seen by the railway station.

There's another bloke at the station, sleeping there. A tall one-eyed man, whose back is in such bad state that he always bend forwards. Nicotine fingers, distorted voice, creepy.

There's also another guy, said to be a drug addict who would suck for money. Offers toothless smiles.

Cardiff has a few choice ones:

Mr Shakey Hands Man - He's a wobbly old man who will try and shake your hand and ask for change. Pictured here:


Toy Mic Trevor - Local busker who sings into one of those toy microphones. The name Toy Mic Trevor was coined by my friend Carl, or so he claims. I believe Toy Mic Trev has played gigs such is his popularity.



Then there is Ninjah who has actually put out a record (and has another waiting to be released). He can often be found in the town centre in an elaborate outfit, drumming on some bins or talking to himself. Has been claimed that he used to be a bit disturbed but is OK now and exaggerates it a bit to perpepuate his myth.




He has been called "the best dressed man in Cardiff" which I would probably concur with. My favourite Ninjah outfit was probably a red sequinned suit and a Claires Accessories basket on his head.

The World Famous Bushman, of course.

I didn't take the picture, I found this on a facebook group in worship of the guy.

Those chicks look pretty wigged out.

Hat lady
Constantly walks around on sidewalks with multiple backpacks while wearing a huge cat in the hat looking hat. Everyone knows who she is and I see hear sometimes several times during the week, but nobody knows her story

Bob the Retard:
Not something I named him, just one that stuck I guess. 60-something-year-old mentally handicapped, though not seriously, who got fired from Burger King for being too fascinated with the small children of customers. Now he goes bowling often, with the bumpers up of course, and attends church frequently. When it rains or snows, he asks either police officers or familiar looking people (he says knows faces, not names) for rides to wherever he lives, I don't know where. When he comes into the coffee shop where I work and I ask how he is today, he says he doesn't know but it's all my fault. He's a member of the Knight's of Columbus as well.

Piet the counter
Walks around the city counting everything he sees. House numbers, people at the market, tiles, seagulls, etc. Don't be surprised to find him in your house if you accidentally leave the front door open. I once bumped into him in my kitchen counting cutlery in one of the drawers. He's harmless, but I shat myself.

Moos
A wealthy entrepreneur who decided to step out of society. He spends most of the day on a bench near the station, smoking weed and staring at people while opening/closing his mouth like a goldfish. He looks like an Afghan freedom fighter.

Johanna
A transexual with an arsenal and a major chip on his/her shoulder. The house gets raided 3-4 times a year, but he/she still keeps stocking up weapons for WWIII. The house is nailed shut and the police have to watch out for booby traps when they raid the premises.
Noone wants to live next door to him. I wonder why?

leeds has 9p man, a heroin addict who would wander around very quickly asking everyone for 9p. not 10p or a pound but always that specific amount no matter what day you saw him.

in the town i am from there was a guy called warlord who would sit in doorways listening to video killed the radio star, drinking cider and shouting warlord at everyone who walked past.

in berlin there are many crazy people and far too many to mention. i like the crazy drunks around kotbusser tor u bahn.

i have seen many crazy people in towns and cities, probably the biggest concentration was in san francisco which seemed to have a high amount.

Ralph the bum...fucked in the head Vietnam Vet...allegedly pissed right in the middle of the local bowling alley, walked into a store I was working at a long time ago and asked what happened to the store that was in the same location about 20 years earlier...I heard he died in a fire when he was sleeping by a dumpster. :( R.I.P.

There's some guy who lives in St. Cloud MN who walks around everywhere wearing a Superman cape...don't know much about him. :(