Insecurity
 

SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a student journalist and I want to be a music critic (SHOCKER). But, I am constantly worried about people reading my stuff. It's not even that I am worried they will think it's bad, but more like, that my writing is now out there in the open for anyone to read when the rest of my life it's just something I've done. Has anyone else faced these same sorts of fears? It's wierd, I've never had any trouble gettin on stage whether it be for a school presentation or a show with my shitty new garage band. I am the least insecure person I know and I've never cared what people thought of me, but for some reason I'm ultra protective of my writing.

I'm also self concious over the fact that I gained a significant amount of weight since my injury and subsequent surgery (25 lbs) and my former 145 lb, 5 ft. 9 lean frame is now 170 lbs, slow, and flubby. Also, I am constantly worried that I have lost my "mojo", meaning I havn't got laid in a while. Considering that I used to get my sex on fairly regularly, this makes me think that I have somehow lost the ability to talk to women, and even more worrisome, is the fact that my new fat is the reason I ain't gettin no women. Fuckin neuroses man, the shit we worry ourselves about, isane. And if you are all planning on jumping on me for this revelation, fuck you. We ALL have silly things we worry about.

What are you insecure about?

That's what you're doing here and now.
Dozen or hundreds of people read you.

I have never posted anything on here that I have put a lot of thought or work into. Usually what I post here is just "on the fly" opinions and such. In a way you're right though.

I thought you did.

i have a slight stutter problem so i'm very insecure about talking to people and that's why i'm such a shy quiet guy. it has gotten a lot better since i was a kid, but those years of getting teased day in and day out has caused a lot of damage to me. i always wonder if i didn't stutter if i would be as shy as i am.

what happened to you? what kind of surgery are you talking about?

ya, okay invito al cielo.

huh?

You're just going through a phase.(no sex, more weight,etc..)
don't know too much about the protective side of yr writing, but i guess that's pretty normal. Writing is an art.
You should watch the weight though cuz this might make you less able to go and talk to women you like and thus get laid....
try to exercise and watch what you eat if possible just right now.

I'm really quiet and shy. I used to have singing lessons, and this was somewhat of a novelty for most people because I'm so quiet. I was constantly being told to sing for people, yet I couldn't do it (even when I had a guitar with me). But I did manage to get up on stage and sing and play a five minute song in front of over fifty people (twice). And I'm probably going to do it again in about a month.

Recently I've been reading Lords of Chaos: the Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground. I can look at the picture of Dead with his brain falling out of his head and not feel anything (I showed my friend and it gave him nightmares), but about a week ago I had this program at school about driving cars and road safety. Some people came in to talk about brain injury, how it happens and its effects. It made me feel sick. I wanted to leave the room, but I was worried that I would collapse in front of everyone as soon as I stood up, eventually I managed to get up and leave, and then I pretty much just collapsed onto a wall as soon as I was out of the room. So I guess discussing certain medical issues can make me really uncomfortable.

i had the same problem in my first year at this art school... i never liked people looking at my drawings, but then it got worse because they weren't just people, but people who were also very good at drawing, and they'd see all the little flaws. it takes some time to adjust to this, since it's always hard to get critics on something personal, like drawing or writing: getting a bad grade on a math test isn't that hard, because that would be because you didn't study well.

it might take some time but you will learn to accept comments on your work, and then you won't mind it that much when other people read it.

It is important to define yourself by how much you get sex. Its all that separates you from...the people who don't get sex! OMIFUCKINGGOD.

I had to get reconstructive on my left shoulder and clavicle. I shattered my collarbone and tore a few tendons a year ago. Unfortunatly when I went to the hospital the doctor totally blew me off and said it was a minor separation and would heel within a couple weeks, and after three weeks I could resume activity. So, when I resumed activity I instantly knew something was severly fucked up, so I went to an orthopedist and sure enough my shoulder was totally fucked. So I got surgery over the summer finally where I was given three cadaver tendons to replace the torn ligaments, a bone growth that was sticking out of my shoulder had to get sawed off, and they put screws connecting the gap in my clavicle bone so the calcium would allow it to fill itself back in. It was an intense surgery and I was out of comission for about 6 weeks of doing nothing but eating painkillers, smoking weed, watching horror flicks, and listening to records. I'm in physical therapy now and am really starting to get better. I went to the Boston Children's Hospital Sports Medicine clinic and was treated by Dr. Michael Bae who is one of the best in the field, so I was very lucky in that respect.

Hahaha. I dont define myself by anything, but I mean, I just wana get laid, enough is enough.

you are very lucky, cheer up cyborg! getting over depression is not easy, you need bollocks. have some self-confidence, you have a great story and you want to be a journalist. and you're ALIVE so stop whining! Good luck.

calm down creature, we're working on it.

I'm planning to come to NYC next year, so I'd be more than happy to take you out for a drink, and give some incomprehensible London abuse to anyone who dareth mock you.

I'm not really shy at all but I AM insecure when it comes to making music, writing etc.

:eek::D

will you be in germany berlin/hamburg (lets say north, hahaha) sometime?