Ridiculous musical instruments
 

I saw a band the other week that weren't really doing much for me but I was tolerating them out of politeness. But my ability to tolerate them disappeared altogether when the vocalist/guitarist produced a kazoo from his jacket pocket and started singing through that. It was a preposterous moment, and the rock 'n' roll police should ensure that some kind of legislation is passed to ban such things.

What other musical instruments should go on the banned list?

Triangles should disappear off the face of the planet on account of every non-musician ever making the joke about 'being able to play the triangle'. How witty! How insightful! Pricks.

By contrast, more of these (preferably played by pretty Japanese ladies) please

Although great, to many thereminists about these days, less please.



"HAHAHAHA. You're SOOO kooky with your kids keyboard!!!!"

I've once seen this band (I think they were called COW or something like that) that pulled out every single trick in the book of aenemic indie tactics. They had a vintage moog with a girl who couldn't play it and looked like Laetitia Sadler of Stereolab, a guy who dressed like a member of Clinic and used a drumstick to play his guitar, the bass player was just the bass player, and the drummer looked completely out of place, like he was a penniless roadie who happened to be on stage. I turned round to this girl I was chatting to and told her that they were shit. Turns out that she was the keyboardist's sister, but she told me that she thought that they were shit too.

Those moments are priceless. I've said that to some poor young chaps Mum (in fairness, she didn't look old enough, and I should really have noticed the wedding ring) who said something like, "Yes, it's a bloody racket, but he means well". Damning with faint praise etc.

Musical saw or the wobble board.

i dunno, all instruments could be cool. the kazoo and the triangle are the obvious stupid sounding ones.

..and here i thought this was going to be a harry partch thread..

the musical saw can sound brilliant!
i think the too many guitars atached together should be destroyed. especially the ones that are the same guitar, same tuning and only atached so that the "guitarist" can look like a circus clown *





*see michael angelo batio

but this kind is allowed

What if the triangle suits the song ? This thread is stupid, any instrument can be good or bad depending on how it's used.

But its existence means that every non-musician makes the same fucking gag - didn't you read my post? Your post is stupid.

I understand what you mean, Torn Curtain, but I maintain that there is no way in which the kazoo can be used in a non-gimmicky way in music. It is a child's toy and has no place in music (apart from possibly the likes of the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band). It is just overbearingly and annoyingly "wacky".

Except: New Face in Hell.

Nope, sorry, not even Mark E Smith is allowed to use the kazoo.

What a stupid thing to say. This thread is stupid. I mean, stupid.

That is the most racist thing I have ever read.

Are you stupid? Where did you detect the racism in my post? Is that the fruit of your stupidity or you're just being stupid? Stupid racist.

Only a stupid person would repeat stupid so many times? What are you, stupid? That's a stupidly stupid thing to stupidly say. You stupid gay.

So why is it that I can hear an echo of stupidity in your post?